pay no mind to the demons; they fill you w/fear

[Whiterose]

WR,
What I meant by "move onto something else before it's all said and done" is that he may be miffed right now about the phone and NETFLIX, but he'll find something else to be angry about again and soon. He could be angry that the sun is shining or someone cut him off on the highway, it doesn't necessarily have to do w/you.

Ok....I thought you meant in his anger but I just wanted to make sure I understood correctly.

As for wondering the "what ifs" about doing things such as taking care of the phone and accounts, you have to take care of these things or you'll end up in the toilet when it comes to finances. They do not watch how they spend or charge things. They don't care if the bills aren't paid on time or the monthly payment is paid. If your name is on anything as "joint", you need to be concerned because this affects you and your boys when it comes to the phone, electric, water, insurance and mortgage. You do not want your name associated w/his if he's not paying his bills. This will ruing your credit very quickly.

All the household bills are in my name as I have always been the one to take care of them....the only one of major concern was the cell bill which is now under my name and well, netflix, was no big deal I just created my own acct. I am wondering about itunes though as it's his acct...I have one but all the purchases over the years were made with his acct The mortgage is in both our names and the one visa that I am a secondary on but he does not have the card for it-I kept both

If he wakes up, he will appreciate the fact that you took care of you and the boys the best way possible.
I'm thinking BIG IF here

No, the huge choices that you need to make only affect you and your sons. Your h doesn't give a fig about any of it. Sorry to be so blunt...but YOU must take care of you and your boys. Please don't rely on him to do the right thing because he won't. Expectations are at zero at all times. Okay?

I meant in terms of going on with fighting for my marriage or not....that is the huge choice I am struggling with. I am actively working on ways to bring in more income to take over the mortgage, I've asked my parent's to co-sign for me (as I won't qualify on my own-they've said yes) All the household bills are in my name so I am taking care of them, as I always have, S14 goes to an "independent school" which only means we pay a portion of the cost to educate him, It's a catholic school, which H has always paid for both boys. I've got it with my lawyer that he needs to continue to pay this as it was how it was done while in our marriage and it is above and beyond child support. IF he were to stop paying I would go to the school and apply for a bursary to cover it.....he wouldn't have to change schools or anything. My vehicle is in my name. We have a joint bank acct but my money has never gone into it. His paycheques did but, as he in now having to transfer money in, I'm guessing his goes into his personal acct now. Part of me hopes his personal visa got wise and has cut him off but I think that would be too much to wish for

OH for the record, not offended by blunt....I prefer to know where people stand and especially that you come from a place of concern it does not bother me:)