NEW LIFE / NEW ME

[Fartiltre]

Sandi,

You simply answer with the same word husbands have used for centuries. "Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine........." She will soon get the hint that you do not intend to discuss your business, work, other family, or personal life with her b/c it is none of her business. You will hear me say that a lot, or until you start remembering that you are not obligated to answer any of her questions that don't affect her children or private property. You will have to train yourself. Then when you R, you will have to retrain yourself.

Centuries I didn’t know it was inheritance I can do fine!
I get the not obligated but remember that I am still that kind of person that wants to be sure – I need the things sorted totally out in my head but I will (almost) promise you that when I get there I will do the things (almost )flawless. (Big words from a little man! – I know!)
I love the training so just bring it on and (hopefully) we will have to turn it all around somewhere in the future!

Okay, just as long as you understand that I can't answer any of those for you.

How come? I get you and didnt expect any answer. Just stated it to let you know what/who you are dealing with!

That's the spirit! I also hope you have other friends and activity that are not just relatives (especially hers).

I have 15 guys at my home in three weeks for a barbecue, beers and claytargetshooting in the backyard. Her cousin is the only relative and she talks to 2-3 of the others. I have only 3-4 dear friends and I do not feel like having more. The rest is a bit more distant and then I have invited 3 new guys that I don’t know so well – This is all part of my GAL! I believe I will do good in this area and the above is just an example.

I will wait until something better arises in the horizon! I won’t look for it at the moment but sometimes the sunset just hits you in the face! I want W back for me, her and the children but I won’t fall into the trap off letting something possibly good pass by because something else MIGHT happen.

I started out DBing with one goal – getting W back! Now I have several and the biggest one is getting me back! If I can have W back I would still like to for now but as my shrink stated at last session “I am not even sure you want her if you get the chance”. I am not there – I am working this for me and the family but only to some extent. Won’t waste the rest of my life hoping – that would be even more awful than D!

Stop feeling like you owe an answer to people who asks you questions. I know your type! B/c I am much the same type as you, but I have learned....and so can you.

And I will! This will be a hard lesson but I am ready for it. It gives me a little peace knowing you have been through that as well.

A goal? No, it's not a "goal". But I want you to be prepared to see her get angry. If she doesn't, then I will wonder if she is a real female.......or if you aren't doing it right

I will bet a month’s wager on her spewing big time! – I have learned to handle her when she does! I simply leave. It has worked fine for me for the last 2½ month or so.


AND THEN:
What about her callings today – should I do something or just wait until she calls again?
When should I pick up?
What should I answer when she ask why I haven’t answered?
Should I get the VM as T suggests – I really hate them, but if needed I will get one!!! (IMHO she will just leave a message telling me to call her and then I am in the same place)

She called me twice in a row this afternoon at my cell and then 1015PM at the landline (no cellcoverage at my home). Haven’t got VM but since she didn’t text I don’t believe it is that important.

Sandi, I am off to bed – it’s past midnight and I have a rough day waiting. Thanks again – I hope to wake up to some clarification from you about her callings.

F