WR, When it comes to the mlcer, you'll need to toss your planner instincts out the window. Why? Because they are emotionally all over the place and no one knows how they'll be from one second to the next. When you h spews at you, change the subject to something about the weather or some other trivial matter. That will cause him to stop and regroup.
What I meant by "move onto something else before it's all said and done" is that he may be miffed right now about the phone and NETFLIX, but he'll find something else to be angry about again and soon. He could be angry that the sun is shining or someone cut him off on the highway, it doesn't necessarily have to do w/you.
As for wondering the "what ifs" about doing things such as taking care of the phone and accounts, you have to take care of these things or you'll end up in the toilet when it comes to finances. They do not watch how they spend or charge things. They don't care if the bills aren't paid on time or the monthly payment is paid. If your name is on anything as "joint", you need to be concerned because this affects you and your boys when it comes to the phone, electric, water, insurance and mortgage. You do not want your name associated w/his if he's not paying his bills. This will ruing your credit very quickly.
If he wakes up, he will appreciate the fact that you took care of you and the boys the best way possible. No, the huge choices that you need to make only affect you and your sons. Your h doesn't give a fig about any of it. Sorry to be so blunt...but YOU must take care of you and your boys. Please don't rely on him to do the right thing because he won't. Expectations are at zero at all times. Okay?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
