BC39.....The fight for my marriage continues

[BC39]

IMHO, I've seen it work both ways. I've seen the LBS detach and separate from the WAS and have the WAS both come back and also some thought they liked being single and free and hooked up with someone else.

The biggest thing that happens when a WAS decides to come back is exactly that. They make a conscience choice. They make the choice to do whatever it takes to work on the M. Fear of losing the LBS may open the door but it's not enough to sustain the relationship in the long run.

You are going to have to see how it feels in your sitch. The fact that your W told you honestly how she felt is a big thing. It shows that she's actually searching for an answer for why she feels so empty inside. The problem is that she's constantly looking for EXTERNAL things to make her feel whole when in reality, SHE herself is the only one that can fill that void. It's a choice. If she actually stopped and turned around to see you and your family and actually appreciated what she has, she will see that her life is very rich. But she's still looking elsewhere.

This ^^^ has really stuck with me. It's my current sitch in a nutshell.

Any suggestions on how/if I can help her look internally?

I've read and watched some great stuff on passion vs comfort in LTR. Should I have my W read/watch them?

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I've found myself flip flopping a lot lately

I wake up some mornings and decide I'm going to continue showing W affection etc

then the very next day I pull back and detach

Probably not a great approach. I'm pretty confused what to be doing these days...