Taking A Stand; What's my Position?

[Mimi00]

Tough one. Anyone else have any ideas?

Yes, I'm still open and thinking about it, if any one else has suggestions!

Thanks Ruby for your response to "do what works".

I guess I that's my problem I don't know what works lol

Thanks gabbysmom and willbwell for visiting my thread.
I appreciate everyone's opinions.

He's just contacting you when he needs something himself, that's no reason to start reaching out to him. Stick to your plan of going dark. I don't think 2 weeks is long enough though. You're going dark for you, not to try and get him back. It's to help you detach.

Hi AS, thanks for your response.
He has initiated text once or twice in the last month since he left to ask how I am doing, but that's more of the same for him, so if he stops contact (in my mind) that makes sense. But I will definitely finish out this week of no contact and see how I feel...to continue or not. I don't think we've gone and entire week w/o speaking/texting since BD...so we'll see what happens.

When he initially noticed I stopped calling and texting (during LRT, before official BD) and mentioned it, I told him I was just giving him space. He told me he didn't ask for space. So I asked him would he like things to change and me to contact him more, he quickly said no and moved on b/c he said I was making it a big deal and he was just asking a question. When he did visit, he BD'd and a few days later brought up again that I didn't call/text, I was frustrated and (probably shouldn't have, but I wasn't thinking straight and didn't know how to respond)told him it was advice I got, to leave him w/ his thoughts and not pressure by calling etc.. he said who would give that kind of advice? As if it was a bad idea...but he will never say outright how it made him feel, what he wanted during that time if space really wasn't it (So annoying).

But now that he's moved back to "wonderland" for good and made it clear that he's leaving b/c he was unhappy, hurt too many times by me and just wants to be able to take care/work on himself only, not the marriage. Why would I call? We have no children, nothing to communicate about.

Then deep down I feel I'm just running to "safety" per usual to protect myself w/ this thinking.


As far as detaching, I think I'm ok... nothing he has done/hasn't done in the last month or so have made my emotions waiver much. Since I moved last week I haven't cried at all. I do have moments of this s*cks, but they pass quickly lol.

Not sure why but dating has even popped into my mind lately (maybe being some where new, all alone, no family, makes me want the safety of a male presence to check on me every once in a while. Definitely nothing serious of course).
Obviously as I stated at the start of this thread, I want my H and to re-build our M. But I am considering putting it on a short time limit. Assess things 3 weeks from now, 3 months from now, then be finished for good by the new year if nothing has changed. God may be laughing that that plan though, so we shall see. But that is what's in my head/heart right now.

I was planning to go dark from contacting & social media etc... b/c I realize he watches it closely. When we do talk he always brings up what he has seen me post as far as activity wise (positively, but who knows how he really feels about it). I feel that it gives him a sense of what I am doing and he makes assumptions based off of it, so I want to become more of a mystery.