WR, I don't see a thing wrong w/anything you've done thus far. I certainly wouldn't give him any of my account information, whether it be NETFLIX or your phone. He's a big boy and he wanted to move out, so let him figure things out for himself. Yes, they do get upset/angry w/us when we begin to take back control. However, keep in mind, if you give him the account info and the pw, what's going to stop him from accessing the data and changing it again or ordering up NETFLIX movies and having them charged to you? Right now, you need to take care of yourself and your own accounts. Your h chose to leave home and live a separate life. You need to be careful w/what you share w/him because when they are in mlc, you can't trust them w/money or accounts.
As for him not seeing how good life is, well again, that's his problem. He can always schedule times to meet up w/your sons and I'm sure you would be more than happy to work w/him on scheduling.
Please do not feel guilty about anything you have done. Continue as you have been. He's not going to talk to anyone right now because he's in mlc and it takes time for him to start peeking out a bit. This is all typical of mlc. He's a free bird and doesn't want to be reminded of responsibility. Allow him to sit in the pot and stew a while. Trust me, he'll get over it and move on to something else before it's all said and done. You have to protect your assets and finances because he sure isn't capable of doing so. Stay the course.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
