Lifestyle changes

[25yearsmlc]

25Years - Great to hear from you. I am sorry my posts sound so down. Like a lot of people, this is a place for me to vent, so you tend to see more negative emotion than positive.

I am grieving the death of my marriage, am anxious about my finances looking forward, and am still leary of the divorce process. I do, however, see a light at the end of the tunnel and am looking forward.

THIS ^^ ALL MAKES SENSE...

I read you're final post on my last thread. I would like to correct one thing you said. The message I sent out on FB was a private message, not a public post. It was not seen by my kids. I do not badmouth my W to them, and I try not to involve them in what is going on. The only time time I discuss this with them at all is when my W includes them in activities with OM.

I did not take "Dustmeoffs" advice, though I am not as critical of it as you, and can see where hiding all emotion from your kids could be a bad thing. I just tend to lean the other way and show too much emotion/pain.

I did not suggest you HIDE your emotions. In fact I made a point that you ought not to lie about how you feel, just don't make it their problem. I really think many parents do this without knowing it...

Mostly, I am just impatient to move on with my life. I would like a final D agreement signed. I would like my W to move out. I would like to move forward into the next stage of my life. I think these are normal feeliings for someone ending a marriage. Patience......


YES. We often wish we had "fast forward" buttons we could push.


One other correction. If you think that fresh caught fish is "Cheaper" than store bought, then you just don't understand fishing. Boats, gas, bait, and tackle all add up.


I understand fishing quite well. But I am used to it in Alaska...the pay offs were obviously bigger. Two days of fishing yielded us a year of fish if it was salmon or halibut.

They were healthier and fresher and better tasting than anything I ever bought in a store. We could use a boat or fish from the shore or dip net once a year.

I assume you have other reasons for owning the boat

and you do.

IN fact you say later on that the boat has been the source of great interaction with your siblings and dad, and your girls.

It is probably the most expensive food you will ever eat.

My D's will eat fish, but they both turned me down when I asked them if they wanted to go fishing. They prefer tubing when out on the lake (which is even more expensive).


Man Rock, you sure can get negative from what I see as a huge positive. It's like a negative vortex gift you have..I just went tubing down a river. Didn't cost a thing. Got some bruises but it was worth it.

So I guess you are now saying, pulling the girls on a tube is "even more expensive" than fishing (???) because of what...the fuel? Can't be the tubes...well,

Geez, sell the boat then...or enjoy it. Your choice.

I don't mean to sound harsh, b/c like you said, you vent here.

But some venting is NOT helpful. It only helps if you are MORE at peace afterwards....

otherwise, the "venting" is a euphemism for bitter pity parties or just us spiraling negatively,

and Venting can keep us stuck, or make us spiral negatively...and I feel as if you are doing that at the moment.
Just be cognizant of that.

Try to catch yourself so you don't become a gray cloud. Besides, the more you do the negative attitude thing, the happier your w will be, with her choice to be gone.

The more you contrast her negatives of you, the better. Especially if it helps to create some second thoughts in her.

And way more importantly, it helps YOU be happier and it shows the girls a PMA about life.

Yes, sure, there are trade offs in life. If you think the boat is a negative vortex for you, get out of it.

But stop making it an "ordeal" for you. Sell it, or enjoy it.


Wife is gone on vacation all week (seeing OM in Haiti, told me and the kids that she is going to Florida for business), so I get some more practice at being a single dad. I WILL be a better parent, and my kids WILL know that they are loved.

The Latin phrase that means "from bad, can come good" again comes to mind.

These are the gifts that change has brought you. Along with the improved r's in your life apart from w's. So be grateful for that, okay?