Walking Between the Raindrops

[25yearsmlc]

WW

sounds great about the aunt title. And it IS fun to be one.

A comment about GAL...I was in the interior of Alaska, and had to GAL or I knew I'd either drink til spring time, or just surrender to the darkness (which was even harder than the insanely cold temperature, for me).

And trust me, my city was NOT a large one. NOW, I live in the Southern Cal area, and there are a TON of free or cheap things to do.

But here are some things I did in Alaska. Imagine having better weather like you do here.

First, I joined a writer's group. I met interesting intelligent people, mostly with interesting things to say. I think YOU like to write. So join one.

Some of what we wrote in our group were things that could be performed, and some of us were asked to read our plays at a huge festival in Anchorage, which also introduced me to other people.

I auditioned for local community theater and I got cast in challenging fun roles. I Met VERY fun people and while rehearsing or performing, NOTHING else distracted me. That helped soo much in NOT obsessing. I mean talk about NOT being able to keep revisiting the issue... no way. For hours I'd be focussed only on what I was doing IN THE MOMENT - and what a gift that living in the moment is...

You can do crew work if you have stage fright, or challenge yourself to get over the stage fright. But there is a ton of theater work to volunteer for in southern California.

I volunteered at a battered women's shelter. Met people who were very needy, and also very grateful for my efforts and that felt useful.

I learned to cross country ski and target shoot, and did some deep sea fishing. Met people I would not normally meet, or even think to meet, which was good for me.

I edited a hunting book, which was very different for me to do. I liked the author so much that my family members have each gone on a hunt for (meat we eat) and while that may not appeal to you, trust me, it's a bucket list item for a lot of people, and it feeds us healthy meat.

I took flying lessons to get my pilot's license and also went skydiving. This was the only activity that costs me much.
(And what a thrill both things were!)

On the other hand, I took a pottery class. That was NOT something I would normally do, but I met some quietly artistic people and one of them became a good friend of mine.

I took a class in Italian cuisine, and a Conversational French class. That made me feel like I was learning to cook some great foods, with interesting cultural aspects, and staying fluent in my parent's native tongue.

I finally joined the Officer's Wives club...and made two life long friends who helped me get thru life in the arctic winters.

I got in great shape. I worked out more than I had in a decade and looked better, especially since I had given birth to our last child. I needed to exercise and my doctor said it was one thing to do that naturally starts up our endorphins.

I used a tanning booth there too. I am not suggesting others do that, but in the absence of sunlight, over time, it was useful for ME to do. Point is, I was open to doing whatever it took to feel at least normal.

I also did stand up comedy. That was very therapeutic. I did a set on "MLC's" and divorce, at the Hollywood Improv and it felt great. (That;s one tape my h won't see).

and now, some years later, I do stand up as an avocation. It definitely got me to meet some VERY Funny people who are creative and very enjoyable to be around. Still do.

I went to church again, and found a place that felt welcoming.

So in sum, I took classes, I joined groups, I learned new things, was very active, and I forced myself to GET OUT OF MY HOUSE even when it was very hard to do.

Logistically, no offense, but you have no excuse since there is no child care to arrange or bad weather to cope with (just traffic! But hey, no worries about a moose in the road or a bear wandering your way...) We all "feel tired" after work. But if all you are going to do is watch TV, then add up your years of life and ask yourself if that is how you want to spend it...

Sometimes inertia is the hardest thing to overcome. But I never once regretted GAL once I was out. I think you'll find the same to be true for you.


I think if you put your mind to it, you know there are MANY things you would like to do that you have let inertia or fatigue or social FEARS (= "discomfort") have kept you from doing.

Most people on their death beds regret things they did NOT do, far more than things they did do.

Don't be one of them


As for partner's and their families....when you are "often involved & expected to attend"

that means you are seen as part of the family! The appropriate response to that is "YAY!!"

Because that's a very very good thing. Never let yourself forget that.

Good luck, sounds as if things are moving forward, but remember that we hardly ever move in linear ways.

There will be backslides and lateral moves, but as long as we are generally moving forward, it's good.

live AND LEARN and CHANGE, as that's called progress.