Yesterday when he came over we were in my room and he said, "I guess we need to have our usual talk" and I just happily said, "nope, I think we've said everything twice"
I think you did the right thing by not getting drawn into the relationship talk and just answering with a quick, one line answer. Unless he comes up with something different to contribute to the conversation, you have already talked about the same stuff over and over again getting nowhere!
When he makes the comments about being confused and not having an answer, I would just VALIDATE, quickly though. Like one sentence where you reply with something like, "I could understand how you feel that way, it is confusing right now." and leave it at that. I am guessing there is some good info on this forum regarding "validating", Does anyone on here know where to find a link on the forum with info about validating? It is something that I need to work on as well.
As per Sandi2's rules, limit relationship talk as it equals pressure. Sounds like you and I are in the same boat, our H's make so many different and confusing statements. I can tell that my H is really having a hard time with everything, because he does not have an answer for me either. And it's true, they really don't know, they are lost right now. So just give it space and time.
As for the OW, that is unfair how he is treating you. I would tell him that you have nothing more to talk about with him until he cuts off everything with OW. Does that sound appropriate? Does anyone else have an opinion regarding this?
take care, -cp
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
