I can certainly understand your anger. It is quite irrational what the WAS's will justify as acceptable. It is unacceptable. Good for you stating your boundaries. I hope that she will respect them, for sake of her own embarrassment.
I would not deal w OM directly unless he comes to your property. Be ready to calming restate your boundaries to both of them.
Be strong, be calm and BREATHE!!!!!!!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
I can certainly understand your anger. It is quite irrational what the WAS's will justify as acceptable. It is unacceptable. Good for you stating your boundaries. I hope that she will respect them, for sake of her own embarrassment.
I would not deal w OM directly unless he comes to your property. Be ready to calming restate your boundaries to both of them.
Be strong, be calm and BREATHE!!!!!!!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Thanks, GTO....I will have to dig really deep to keep my calm, if this actually turns into an issue. Personally, I can't imagine OM being stupid enough to try a move like that. If he does, he really is a piece of work. I don't believe anything will come of it....We will see.
I replied to her that it was unacceptable and the answer was NO. He will not step foot on this property, ever!
So you set a boundary with her. What is the consequence? Did you inform her of the consequence of breaching the boundary? Because without consequences the boundary doesn't mean much, she has no incentive not to breach it. In fact she may want to break it now just to irk you.
AS, what consequence would you set for that boundary?
Sp, I think you're right not to engage further but I think you should think through what your options are if they did show up. You wouldn't want to do something in the heat of emotion that you would regret later. Testosterone and adrenaline can be a dangerous cocktail.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
AS, what consequence would you set for that boundary?
His W is still living on property owned by SP and his family. I would state to her that as long as she continues to live there, it is not acceptable to bring OM around, and if she does, then she needs to make arrangements to move ASAP.
I have actually given this some thought. On one hand, I am a few inches taller than OM and weigh 235 pounds. OM is maybe a buck 60 soaking wet. I also had a reputation as a fighter when I was younger, and wife knows this very well. I would highly doubt that he would have the guts to possibly engage me on my own property, and I doubt that wife would willingly put him in harms way. We will just have to see how gutsy he is. With that said, I do have a plan on how I will handle it. If I find him on the grounds I will approach him respectfully and ask that he immediately leaves the property. He is not welcome here. If he refuses, I will radio for backup from some of my staff so that they can verify that he was asked to leave. I will contact the Police to have him served with a verbal trespass warning, and I will physically remove him off the property myself. It will be that simple. The next day, wife would be moving out. This is where I am going to draw a line in the sand. The consequences will be huge. I am not going to verbalize this to wife, because I am sure it would end in conflict. It will just have to be a consequence she learns the hard way. Lets hope for every ones sake, she has a moment of clarity before she brings him here.
I have a question, and it's regarding my detachment. I have gone about as dark as I can on wife. I am doing that so that I can save myself and move on. I am wondering however, if I am OVER-doing it. I have a very tough time balancing between stand-offish and lovingly detached. Wife just seems PISSED at me lately when we come in contact, which isn't very often. We have both been avoiding each other like the plague. I wonder why she is so angry, and should it be something I am even concerned with?
