So my wife has had a strange turn and I don't know what to make of it. She has progressively been more concerned about me and our future. She calls and talks about day to day life kind of like we are a happily married couple. All of our conversations are about "we" and "us" and the future is always us. I swear that it is strange. There is no physical contact. No talk about us. No intimacy of any kind. I have conditioned my self to not be concerned about us but just for our daughter. So what should I do? Nothing?
This isn't too unusual after S, the WAS often will try to keep a toe in their old life in case their new venture doesn't work out. Just stick with your DB'ing.
Quote:
I am concerned that in time my feelings towards her will fade.
They will. You just can't sustain being in love with a person that doesn't love you. Plus BD has this odd effect of making the LBS think that they are even more madly in love with the WAS. That too fades.
Quote:
She seems to be moving towards me while I keep moving emotionally away. I really don't know how to handle this situation and I am concerned.
That's the pursuit/ distance dynamic at work. You've been distancing, so she's starting to pursue. The worst thing you can do right now is to start pursuing her because she will go right back to distancing. Remember the squirrel analogy:
"If you try to feed a squirrel by hand, you have to hold perfectly still. It will slowly come to you, but even if you don't move, it will sometimes get scared and retreat. But it will return and get a little closer each time. If you get impatient and make any move towards it, it will quickly run the other way and the entire process starts all over again from the beginning. But if you remain patient, it will come closer and closer until it will finally reach out to you."
