New and need encouragement

[Not Quitting]

Thanks CP

S13 was thrilled to have his dad around. Originally it was going to just be the two of us going to the waterpark on Saturday, but S13 wanted his dad to come so we postponed til yesterday - H isn't available Saturdays as he's helping friends reno their house. We've rescheduled for next Sunday as long as the weather is good.

I'm thinking I'm beginning to get this detaching thing down. I'm getting really good at not showing my emotions around H; in fact, a lot of time I don't have any emotions around him any more. I'm either getting used to the separation and everything else, or I've reached that point where it just doesn't matter anymore. I do still love my H, or at least the man I married, but the man I'm married to right now is a stranger. I've even caught myself referring to him as the XH a couple of times.

The hardest thing at the moment I find on a regular basis is dealing with my dad. I had to move in with him several years ago so he knows what is going on, and he's shared that with my sisters as well. I'm sure he means well but sometimes he drives me crazy with his advice and general comments. He doesn't know why I'm still trying, doesn't understand how I could do what I've been doing when H has treated me the way he did. And I'm not even going to mention the attempts at telling me how to cook, raise my son, etc, etc. I wish I could afford to have my own place as much as I love my dad and how much I owe him because without him I'd be homeless.

I'm getting pretty good at detaching from H, and just letting him get on and do whatever he thinks he needs to do. Got to work a bit more on GALing, but whatever I do has to be free or cheap as money is tight.