Do I feel foolish here writing and pining away for my WAW. The answer is a resounding YES!!! Am I a stupid man for finding it so damn difficult to let go of my feelings, maybe. Am I trying to let go, yes and gradually I am doing that. But that does not ease the pain of knowing you very well may of lost someone you know you truly cared about. As I read the sitch's on this site I see all kinds of hurting people. Some are better equipped to handle it than others. Some are not. We are all different and the who's, how's what's and why's are not easy for any of us LBS's. What I want my friends here (yes friends) to know is I am trying hard to get through this. In the future at some point I know I will learn to accept, whatever the outcome. But for now, feelings are raw and I go from one emotion of sadness to another of anger to yet another of just move on. Time I know will be my friend also. My problem is I have a heart and heart in this sitch is my enemy. I am also currently experiencing the fact we are in limbo. 4 long months later and there are still no solid answers to what lies ahead. I have been given a peak or 2 by my stepdaughter as I have previously written about. In as much as it's not all bad, it's not all that good either. But, because of things I know much of which I've written about, there is a little hope at least. It's the limbo I'm finding it so hard to deal with. The not knowing. 4 months and an anniversary tomorrow with such limited contact is not easy to handle no matter how strong someone is. I feel like asking her (in a nice way)at this point what her plans are and that if it is to divorce to proceed with it. That it's not doing either one of us any good to stay in limbo land. I personally dont feel she would run right out to do this but I cant be sure of this either. The limited contact makes me wonder what she is really thinking. Is she testing herself to living alone and she if she likes it. My D and her H had been having marital problems and my W and I would often talk about how they should separate for 6 months to a year with limited contact. So many questions so few answers is that what I have to deal with for however long this sitch goes on.....So I have rambled on again but I feel I have to in my search for answers. Yes, answers I may not find out any time soon but answers I feel are needed and could be of help even if they come in bits and pieces for the duration......
