My friend, I am sorry if you are confused by all this.
When you come to dbing, it is with the only thought that you will do anything to save your marriage.
So, you begin to try the things it suggests. Give him space, let him go, do what works, no cheeseless tunnels, GAL etc.
And it seems like you are doing it. But in the beginning, you are only going through the motions.
The hope is that eventually you come to realize that the only person you can control is yourself. That the only way to really get through this is to detach. And that means that your actions, reactions and words are not based on his.
It means you are living your life without regard to what he is doing or saying.
It means that you walk your journey as you allow him to walk his.
So, I believe, that dbing is a roadmap for how to live your life and sometimes it saves marriages.
No one knows what the future holds. So it is best, in the meantime, to live your life.
You still look to your h for how you should act. You still read into every word and action he says and takes.
Now I dont want you to get upset with yourself. You are way too hard on you.
This is all a process and we all get there when we do. And you are getting there.
So, yes, dbing is for trying to save a marriage, but, much more often it is a way to save ourselves.
I know this latest thing with China has thrown you for a loop. But it is best not to get ahead of yourself. That doesnt serve you well, right?
Take it one thing at a time. Right now, you need to take care of you, my friend. You have to deal with your vision and you have to get yourself good and strong for the next few weeks.
I cannot wait to meet you. I cannot wait for you to get to go to England.
Leave him to his fantasy, Rosa. And get out of the way because it is going to implode. I dont want you in the crossfire.
