So GF has a new BF! She sure gets around. Not the 65 year old guy I guess? I think it's good for your W to have some fun and excitement living vicariously thru GF's adventures. Much better than acting them out herself.
New BF is about 50 (or so) so the same age as GF. He is a cardiologist, D for 5 years and has kids. (all grown I think) W forwarded a song to GF that they both thought fit him. It’s a country song called “I’m still a man”. GF asked W to find her an “I’m still a girl” song. It’s all very exciting.
Hey, I’m still a man too!
I believe GF is in crises mode herself. How could she not be? She's 50 years old, was married for only one year, has no kids, and is still in the dating scene. One of her most noted comments: “I need to stop surviving and start living”
I keep hoping that watching and living GF's life will eventually cause W to wake up to all she has, and has had. But then, she's already acknowledged that she had a good life... but it wasn't good enough because she was never really attracted to me.
Quote:
I know your W's actions still hurt you sometimes. Do you think you are detached FY, and if so, how did you accomplish it?
Like you, I only detached as much as I needed too, and I think this is wise. We really do need to maintain our connection with our spouse as much as possible, at least until that no longer offers hope. Detaching is for us. If we’re coping fine on our own, and enjoying our life, then we’re detached enough. If things change, we may find we need to detach more... or less. I still say it is a dance that we must tailor to our present sitch.
Lately, I’ve been discouraged realizing that W really did not love me all these years. Yes, she showed me love, but it now seems it may have been just an act. She never really loved herself, she was just “surviving”.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
