When I said to read what I posted above, this is what I was referring to:
Quote:
Your W is embarking on a new life on her own, unfortunately you've got to quit thinking about her as your W and leave her to live her life. All you can do is concentrate on yourself and make the best of your life without her. That's how I've come to see my W after a year of S, someone that used to be part of my life but isn't anymore. Maybe she will be again some day, but for now she's chosen not to be.
And this:
Quote:
Based on her comment about feeling trapped I would not invite her to any activities for a while, and don't expect her to invite you to any.
I know you don't want to do this, your mind is probably telling you it's the wrong thing to do. But again, I'm ahead of you on the timeline and I've already lived through what you're doing right now and I already know it doesn't work. It's a cheeseless tunnel.
cbtdad is telling you much the same and I agree with what he said. It's fantastic that it led to reconciliation for him, but you can't do it with R as the goal, you have to do it with the goal of saving yourself because R may not happen.
