I hope to God this all indicates MLC and not some moral defect or insanity
I think the lines between MLC/moral defect/insanity are gossamer fine.
Determination can probably only be made from a distance - literal or temporal.
It seems your H's pending journey has put you into a tailspin. You are a very smart lady. What can you do to stop your spin?
Keep breathing RL. Take care of yourself.
Something to ponder - for myself possibly more than anyone else. The actual "leaving" of the spouse is NOT the worst that could happen to our Ms. Its just the result of the worst that has already happened. Once the bomb has dropped the M is over, regardless of WAS/MLC leaving or staying. This can be hard to see when the WAS/MLC remains in house.
(((hugs)))
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
Keep breathing RL. Take care of yourself. 
