Me 10 months on. Dark and detaching still.

[hotwheelsaust]

Ttd180, thanks for your uplifting comments. I also read your comments to 2old. This is what I needed. I need to do better for myself with my PMA. Not just in front of people but the behind the scenes stuff, that is my downfall.
So decided today to join the committee for teacher's organising a "casino royale ball" before the end of the year. So heading off soon today for that meeting. Last night I found a facebook page for car enthusiasts to meet up each Friday night. While I don't have a car for that club, I can still meet up with them.
I have to really try hard to accept a lot of things:
* My W isn't contacting me for whatever reasons. I cannot change her.
* I married my W, not the family. So if the family don't want me in their life, it doesn't matter.
* If my friend cannot be bothered to talk to me about something that either annoys him or he feels wronged in some way, then he should have the "balls" to talk to me about it. Not simply defriend. Again that is his choice, I cannot change him.
* If my W wants to continue dealing with the solicitor for the splitting of assets, then I will continue to fight for what I can get. I will be fair, but I won't bend over and take it.
* I have to simply accept where I am in life, it's not great, but it could be a lot worse. Deal with it by being positive not negative.
* I have to stop being negative about things that are out of my control, actually even the ones in my control.

hotwheelsaust, moving on and up in the world. I cannot be who I was anymore. I won't be that person anymore. While I have worked on myself and improved myself over the last 10 months, I know I have a long way still to go.