Hi Valeska! Thank you for checking in. Hope all is well with you
Journaling:
Had two notable positive interactions this weekend.
1) She made a comment about how she wished we had a bigger place. I didn't really respond when she said that, then she added that once she begins making more money in her career we could get a bigger place (since right now I am paying for all of the rent). I tried not to read into it and just smiled and said that sounds good to me. I made a casual comment about how I'd like an extra bedroom for guests to able to visit and mainly to use as a home office and she said that would be a good idea. This is the first time that she's made those kind of plans, real or not, with me in awhile. When she had talked about making more money before, she rarely mentioned getting a bigger place together. She might have once or twice right after BD#2, but mentally it seems like she's in a different place than she was in then.
2) On a separate occasion, she commented again about getting a bigger place together. Then added, "if not a bigger place, then I'd like to re-decorate the apartment." I asked her what she wanted to do and she had suggestions about the furniture (new entertainment center, dresser, etc).
A month or so ago, we were at Home Depot, and she wanted to get curtains. Then asked if it would be okay to get curtains even though she still intended on moving out. It upset me greatly at the time, so when she made a comment about buying new furniture, I tried to be nonchalant about it this time and tell myself it doesn't necessarily mean anything.
Regardless, I will keep on my DB path and continue to work on myself!
Much to say, mostly all encouraging. But please get some curtains. Why would she have to ask you if she can get them? Did the fact that you paid the bills mean you had the power in the r?
Also, of course you MUST make an effort to interact with her family. They are HER family...if you make her choose between them and you, what does that mean about you?
It's a big 180 to work on, and I hope you'll keep that in mind. having to put up a happy face with people who are kind to you, should not be so hard. Why is it?
Okay, I'll post more later but one last thing. PLEASE GAL with other people.
Not just by yourself or other introverted activities. Why not meet NEW people? Stretch your comfort zone some. It seems a tad limited and might come off as limiting to HER...make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
