Lifestyle changes

[25yearsmlc]

Well gee, it sounds as if one thing is cheaper for you, FRESH FISH and yes I am jealous!

Okay so, You want to make the home a place you want to be...and that your daughters want to be as well.

Maybe the oldest can get her driver's license soon? As fearful as I was/am when a child begins driving, I have to admit it's darn convenient too.

I have a surgery coming on my right knee and h may be out on assignment for part of my recovery time. Driving will be impossible for some weeks. So, It'll be my youngest, the 16 y/o who goes to the store for me.

I do think you are luckier than most in that you actually will have disposable income AND the support you pay is temporary.

If you don't want to keep the house, then down size. But I agree that the less change in your d's lives, the better.

Before you make a long face to the girls implying that life will stink since mom left, because the tone of your post suggests that instead, strengthen them with hope. Maybe you were only venting here, which is FINE. But be careful what you share with them. Don't point out every inconvenience. Let them learn to love eggs, they're cheap and healthy.

I posted a long post on your last thread just before you closed it (it got posted last).

Please read it. Someone named "Dustmeoff..." suggested you SHOULD show how hurt you are or your kids won't know you care.

If you were a cold fish husband, never showing affection and never complimenting or flirting, then I'd say for sure you ought to show EFFORT at reconciliation. But I see no advantage to showing all the pain you feel, to the only people in the world who may well feel WORSE...and they may take on the responsibility of YOUR pain, and if they fail to "cure you" by making you happy, that makes them feel all the worse.

Besides, They KNOW how you feel.

Your wife knows...now it's time to show thst life goes on, that your pain was deep but not eternal, nor fatal.

And to show how very important your daughters are to you. More important than your pain.

They can't lose both parents. She seems to be choosing OM over them, or at least to them that is how it must feel.

And you can;'t make them think that mom left b/c you were always a downer, which MAY happen if you openly wallow.



So be more optimistic and adaptable and teach them that too.

Let them each choose a dinner to make one night a week or twice a month. Then teach them how to cook it once or twice and THEN let them cook it. Praise the heck out of those meals and show them that all four of you can enjoy a meal that cost $10-20 and eat healthy. NOT BAD.

Let each of them, or take a vote, (depending on time) choose which film to rent (Netflix is an excellent deal for instant streaming especially, and you can exercise parental controls)

and make popcorn and home made pizza and enjoy that. That's a "night out" (but inside)

Even if you "splurge" and get some soda for them, and for you, a few beers, then a fun Friday night with some or all of your girls will NOT be expensive.


The upside is that soon less tension will occur, your long term financial future is great, your short term future is about protecting and nourishing your daughters, which is not a "dig in the ditch nightmare", and I really like that you see your parenting as needing to be more. Good, brave insight.

A lot of LBSers refuse ANY self reflection, when they are hurt. But you're better than that.

Good for you.