I can certainly understand your anger. It is quite irrational what the WAS's will justify as acceptable. It is unacceptable. Good for you stating your boundaries. I hope that she will respect them, for sake of her own embarrassment.
I would not deal w OM directly unless he comes to your property. Be ready to calming restate your boundaries to both of them.
Be strong, be calm and BREATHE!!!!!!!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.