I am titanium

[Raine]

I'm posting from a really strange place and on my phone. I kind of like this idea. Sort of like being on one's honeymoon and I'm trying to see all the weird and obscure places I can post an update from. Keep it interesting, right?!

Not too much has changed, or maybe it has, but just back at 2 o'clock on the perpetual cycle. He had a bit of an anxiety attack, me thinks, about a week ago when he couldn't get ahold of me for 20 mins. Imagine looking at your phone and seeing 22 missed calls, 4 text messages, 3 voice mails, two Facebook chat msg, a in game message, and a partridge in a pear tree. When he calls again and I answer, guess what he says? No c'mon guess. And the winner is, "Hey! How you doing?" He then talked to me for 20 mins straight. I barely was able to get a "uh huh" in between breathes. Once i got home he followed me so closely around the house I actually turned and bumped right into him. Finally I just sat on the couch for an hour and listened to more. All rambling talk about absolutely nothing important.

He has started getting jealous about some really innocent things involving me and he has turned the flirting on towards me. Problem is his flirting is not very sophisticated and anything I joke back just goes right over his head. Almost like he doesn't want to read too much into anything I say. He is apologizing for minor things and when he does, I can expect him to apologize for the same thing a few times.

He said something the other day that just sent me reeling. In my former life I probably would have ripped him to shreds. But unstead I just nodded and them was upset about it the rest of the night. It was about being exclusive with me when we were dating and he would have been very uncomfortable with either of us seeing other people at the same time. So dating = exclusive. Marriage = spread that love around. Got it.

He does not compliment me or like photos of me or makes any kind of pursuit, unless you count some of the childish stuff or motioning that he has a chair next to him for me. He is nice, and concerned, and wants to talk to me about absolutely everything. Well he doesn't talk about OW, so almost everything. C session for him this week. We will have to see how it goes.

As for me? I'm moving along. I'm more detached now than I was ever before. And maybe that's a scary thing, but it's also a bit exciting and fresh.

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AJ, mon frere, hope life is treating you well. H is still being a fixer, but very funny he comes to me for advise and then retells that advise to his friends. He is talking a lot about being f'ed up, but nothing about fixing it. It just is. Way of life. My name is f'ed up, and that's the end of the story. But I think looking at others may be a good way for him to figure out how to help himself and what kind of life he really wants.

Nero, this: "my h would choke if he ever had to pour the bs on my head that he saves for others!!!!" Made me laugh out loud. You are so dang funny! I hope you're doing well. Keep that chin up!