You are NOT foolish. Get that f'ing thought out of your mind right now! What spurred those thoughts in me was expectations and hopelessness.
My expectations at this point are far more realistic than they were before. I don't expect my W to cre. i don't expect her to confront her demons. I don't expect her to be any thing but selfish self-centered person she has always been.
Hopelessness in me was brought on by my desire to control. To MAKE her feel something. To MAKE her want something. To MAKE her respond in a positive way. Guess what? Didn't work. It took several attacks and wallops to the head with 2x4s and tire tools to make me get it.
I got it because I wanted to. I wanted to save myself. To save my sanity.
To me, people don't let us down. It is our expectations and perceptions that let us down. Just my thoughts on that.
On a personal note... 100 pounds?!?! Cripes! Jimmities, even! WTH, DUDE! I was impressed I got down to 180 in two years... That, Brother, is something to be proud of. Hell, I am proud of you!
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
