Turtle Goddess she of the hard shell soft

[mizjjd]

...the fact that he is still with you reveals a lot about his committment to you.
Sometimes I think this too.

I met H in Florida. He had left Canada with the intention of buying a sailboat, finding a deserted island and living out his days. He had no contact with his parents & sisters, no contact with his ex's & kids. He got as far as buying the sailboat - but then we met.

So I'd say he's a runner first class. And the fact that he's still here after 21 years (22 years T in October, M anniversary is in March) does say something about his commitment - if not to me, then to our family. Plus, he's still here after me asking him to leave 4 times, and after OW's H received my letter.

If you were happy for over 10 years J, between MLC parts A and B, why would you even consider that your future is not viable? You may decide you no longer want it, but it IS viable.

I guess I was happy "enough". See, H works like this. This is a small thing, but isn't the devil always in the details?

Saturday morning H woke up at 5AM to go gambling. I was NOT excited about the hour.

H says to me "You don't have to get up if you don't want to. I can make my own breakfast, unless you want to." He takes off his pajamas and marches his white-tailed rump into the bathroom. I watch his exit wondering if it is deer season yet, then shrug and get back into bed.

He finishes his shower. "What! I thought you'd have my breakfast made by now!"

J "You said you could make your own."

H "Don't you want to make me breakfast?"

J, closes eyes, counts to 10. "H, if you would like me to make you breakfast all you need to do is ask nicely."

H, "Well don't if you don't want to."

J rolls over, snuggles in.

H, "But J...."

J, "H, you could say I'd like it if you made me breakfast. Or, it'd be great if you made my breakfast... you know, something nice."

H, "I'd love it if you'd make my breakfast."

J, getting up, "There, was that so hard?"

H, "Yes. I don't want to be beholden to you."

Just so you know, pre DB J would have already had the breakfast made.

The other night H asked me to turn on the fry cooker because he was trying an "experiment" with a recipe. I turned on the fry cooker and resumed watching TV. Over an hour later, getting ready to go upstairs H realizes the fry cooker is still on. "J! You were supposed to remind me! I can't believe you left the cooker on all that time!" And yes, he was seriously upset with me for not reminding him. It was my fault. In H's world everything is my fault.

I now know, drumroll please, ITS NOT ALL MY FAULT. Hah. So there.

Sooo RL, idk about the viability of more life with H. And none of this even touches OW. OW = DEALBREAKER.

The cat's out of the bag, there's no putting it back. Lol, can you imagine, my H having to go through the rest of his life asking nicely for things!!

And that's just the beginning of my new standards. Even w/out OW what "was" is no longer viable.

i am proud to be able to call you my friend.


Right back atcha