I'm sure you are looking forward to being able to stop DBing. I am assuming we can stop it someday? I can not and will not live the rest of my life standing back, only speaking when spoken to, never initiating physical contact.
My sweet friend, I brought this over from Rh's thread so I could talk to you about it. Hope that is ok.
I know that you are struggling right now. I want to tell you that it is ok. You are so very hard on yourself sometimes, sweetie. Please dont be. This is tough stuff. Heartwrenching, life changing stuff. And it is ok to have days when your resolve is low.
What I want so much for you to see is that dbing is not what you wrote about up there. ^^^^
Dbing allows us to become who we were meant to be and sometimes it saves marriages. I know for me, dbing is a way to navigate through life. It is seeing things with a beginnners mind, not going down cheeseless tunnels, doing what works, letting go of things you cant control.
It is about finding you, finding your strength, finding out who you want to be. It is about accepting others for who they are.
You see, if you really accept that your h is in crisis, if you accept the things about you that needed to change, if you embrace who you are and what you want, then, you have db'd well.
It isnt about standing back and being quiet and letting your h do whatever he wants.
It is about you finding happiness within you and accepting that you have no control over him.
It is letting go with love. And having the understanding that you love him enough to do that and you love you enough to need to.
My friend, find you, fill your life with people and things and experiences that make you feel fulfilled.
Accept that your h cant make you happy, only you can.
And really believe that you are an exceptional person, an amazing woman and friend, with such pure love in your heart. You are so worthy, my friend. I want so much for you to feel that.
