So glad you are ok!! And congrats on your course. You are moving right along, forward.
I've looked at my H before and thought, gee, how unattractive (especially while he's drinking). I wonder if I would think the same if we didn't live together?
Good luck with SE2. So far, he sounds pretty interested in you! If you can keep feeling "done" with the emotions regarding H, you'll be in a good place. I still have those "why can't it be me" moments, and H isn't even with someone else. Sigh.
M44 H57 D17 (special needs) M 18 yrs Bomb 7/2/12 Still living together
Been crazy busy all weekend. Will catch up on everyone by Tuesday lol.
LA. Thanks for dropping by. I miss you . I am not done. Trying to compartmentalize a little more but h is my person. Dating someone else will be a good way to also give H some time to explore his feelings. Why do I say this? Well read on:
In town fridAy. Due to total miscommunication between h and I, he is kind of mad. He was expecting d14 to be dropped early. I thought he worked( like he always does lol) so I took her shopping. But he didn't text or call or anything to say 'where is D?' Could have been totally avoided. I said next time just text me. I would have been happy to drive her over.
We met to pick up race packets for a run. If you're on the alt I will post a pic lol!! D was staying over so h and I went for a drink. Which is where it gets interesting.
H lets a piece of info go that he might be moving. To condo that NI ( new interest) owns!! Very calmly I say that may be a good idea because as we move forward we most likely will be dating people with kids and I will not be available every weekend for kids anymore. That we will have to sit down and try to figure out six schedules ( all the parents lol) because I will not bring someone home with D in the house.
Well. Doesn't h's head snap around. He asks so I say that is just new and I don't know where it will go. Etc etc. he says he is happy blah blah. By the time we have had a few, we exchange phones cuz both our NI's have sixth sense and have been texting. H checks convo with SE and says " he is really interested Ruby. ". He is funny and smart and good looking."
I add more Info: SE brother is an artist. SE used to be in film etc. he was a stay at home dad cuz wife was high profile. My SE is a cool guy so far.
So obviously I can't drive so I spend the night. D is over. H tries a few moves and I tell him he it is not fair if he wants to explore path with NI. I won't do that to him and I go to sleep
Next morning is race. I have no running geAr. We have to drive out and get it. I tell H he doesn't have to but he says he won't make me go alone. It would be boring
Run the race. It is a fun race and we have a blast. 30000. People. We head down a street to find food and a beer with thousands of other racers all dressed up etc. we sit and talk and laugh until our stomachs hurt. We chat with total strangers and admit to each other that we do not have as much fun with anyone else.
H grabs my hand and says Ruby. Lets make a five year plan. That if in five neither of us has met someone whom we fall in love with we start again together. I said you have a deal.
H's new interest is tired of hearing how amazing I am apparently. H says he has to quit talking about me. NI also doesn't like me sleeping at H's when we switch. H said that it was a deal he and I had before her. NI requested that at least I bring my own sheets lol.
Now the good part. SE texts a funny reply to a text I sent. I share it with H. H says
"he seems funny, smart etc. I didn't expect this. I am glad. I think I have a problem with this. I have competition. "
I just said " then you'd better step up your game hadnt you ?"
Last night H texts " so we are clear on our paths? I needs the next six months to be mentally clear"
I say that my path has always been the same. He is my person, but it is my path to walk. I ask if six months mentally clear means no interference from me while he pursues his new R. He basically said no and we would figure it out.
"You only miss the light when it's burning low Only miss the sun when it starts to snow Only know you love her when you let her go.....
wow kate. Its such a twisty turny corkscrew of a rollarcoaster. I really admire your ability to be so open and detached and honest with H. You seem to be living without fear and I admire that. Keep going kate. I'm here with you.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
SE2 is potentially potential. I think it's cuz, turtle, you are still questioning stuff. And they are not so much 2x4's as here are all the things to think about and do you want to still proceed??
Take the I woulds and I wouldn't s and weigh them. Then follow what your head says. I know my heart would not be the voice of reason right now but my head says I need this, even though I am fearful. I know H needs this too. Just didn't expect actually to click.
SE2 is potentially potential. I think it's cuz, turtle, you are still questioning stuff. And they are not so much 2x4's as here are all the things to think about and do you want to still proceed??
Take the I woulds and I wouldn't s and weigh them. Then follow what your head says. I know my heart would not be the voice of reason right now but my head says I need this, even though I am fearful. I know H needs this too. Just didn't expect actually to click.
I have to ask if your dating to make your husband jealous or for him to click? I'm sure your not as that would be cruel to the SE2...
Fearful... ppffttt you ran a 1/2 with a jacked up toe, that takes courage, dating should be a piece of cake.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
. I am not done. Trying to compartmentalize a little more but h is my person. Dating someone else will be a good way to also give H some time to explore his feelings. Why do I say this? Well read on: