pay no mind to the demons; they fill you w/fear

[RosaLinda]

Gee I'm sorry your dad and FIL are both ill Rose. Stressful for you, and for your H too, although he isn't capable of showing it right now. 

Snodderly "As for your h, keep your expectations at zero. They can't handle people being in the hospital or being sick. It reminds them of mortality and they tend to shy away from people who are having health issues."

I have read that stress breaks down the immune system, and can make a person sick. I can see that God has been distracting me with health issues, both my H's and my own, over the past 4 years. H always thinks he "is not long for this world" anyway, but all these sickness one after another have really made him spin and run. 

I think the low point in my marriage was the day I was laying on the couch, so sick and weak from chemo that I could barely stand up, and H asked me if I planned to miss work AGAIN, and informed me he had decided to spend Christmas in Germany with EA1. If I did not kick his ass put that day I guess I never will. He did apologize however, months later, when he got encephalitis from lymes disease, and said he did not realize how sick I was. 

Gee sorry for rambling on about myself. I meant to just say that God sure is distracting you on all fronts there Rose. It would have been nice for your H to respond to the nice message your mom sent him. But maybe he isn't trying to be rude, but just can't face the sickness and is doing what MLCers do best - run away. 

At least he did answer your text in that very loving and understanding manner lol! My H doesn't even write that - just "K"

Rose "my biggest feeling of failure is that I'm not doing what is best for them.....and in my dark moments I wonder how God allowed me to have children with this man. I feel guilt over this as well"

From reading your posts, I am certain that you are a great mom, Rose. God blessed you with children with your H. I know it's hard tp see now, but your H is going to go thru many changes, twists and turns, but is eventually going to drag himself out of the tunnel he fell in. And he will be grateful to realize that you have been standing there this whole time. Holding his home together, doing your best for his kids, keeping a heart filled with love and compassion for him. And he will bless you for it.