Husband Threatened to Leave, Don't know what to do

[TrentC]

He did tell me he has a new way of thinking moving forward. He wants to make me happy but at the same time not at the expense of making himself unhappy.

This is not necessarily a bad thing; putting your partner ahead of yourself in all things is a good example of codependant behavior.

So he just explained to me that he doesn't want to do things in his life cause society makes it out to be right or wrong. He wants to do things according to what makes us happy with who we are and want to do. He said he is tired of changing who he is and acting certain ways cause he is married. He just wants to be himself and be the married man he wants to be and that I want him to be.

But this, on the other hand, is very immature. When you get married, you DO agree to give up some "freedom" in exchange for the emotional and physical security of being in a committed relationship.

Like it or not, you two ARE accountable to each other—and especially so since you are the parents of three children. What about THEIR needs? Maybe they want a dad who will be home and spend time with them when THEY need it?

He gets you to make the changes that he says he needs in the relationship, but then he's decided that "society is bogus, maaaaan" and that he needs to be free to live as he really wants? WTF is that about!?

Your husband needs to suck it up and put on his big boy pants. He got you all riled up and terrified that you're going to leave, but then he kinda maybe decides that he's going to stay; but he is going to hang out with young, unmarried guys at all hours of the night, leaving you by yourself with his kids. And he is sure that you're afraid to push the issue because then he'll pull the trigger and walk out.

Maybe the next time he tries that, you should surprise him and say "I can't keep you from leaving" and let him walk out. His dreams of being a carefree bachelor will come crashing down when a divorce court orders him to pay child support for HIS THREE KIDS.