Wow! This really helped! I'm going on month four and still in moderation. I found this site about 2 weeks ago and it has validated, kept me company, made me laugh, and yes, even scare me a bit. I'd love to add some to the wonderful chapters:

In marriage counseling : admitted to using a pro, why? Because he knew if he had an affair it would be another person he'd be dealing with. A relationship that would make demands of money and time! HAHAHAHAHA! So it was okay to "only used her twice". Because he wasn't emotionally involved! Oh yeah, and it wasn't satisfying just like mas--------g. Huh, but he only did it TWIIIIICE.

I also like the "I'm not sure I want to stay or be married to...you. I'm not sure if I want you to be my "life partner". Now of course this was the beginning when the s hit the fan.

And my favorite to date: Telling the Gottman marriage counselor that " we have a great friendship ( that is what the foundation of marriage is built upon ) so I'm ...not sure I waaaaant to work on marriage. It is about ME. I've put everyone's needs ahead of mine." Ooopsie , he forgot that he played basketball and golf on a scheduled basis during the first 23 years, and played poker and bowled the last 7, but just could not schedule time for us! Wowzers, and I thought he put me and or us ( daughters )first!?! OMGosh, I feel SOOOO much better. I think it's myyyy turn, going to a movie tonight! One which I choose and even have cheesie nachos for din din! YUM! Doing the gymn first, so I can HAVE those nachos!

THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH ! You have made my weekend so much more bearable. I was feeling sorry for myself, and now I am smiling and even laughed out loud! OOOOO's

MLC=[censored] to be him

empathy: putting myself in his shoes and fighting like Hell for our marriage

" I will see you again...this is not where it ends..."