What does that say about our society and how are we teaching our children?? Something doesn't feel good or you are not happy with life, so you just ignore? me, me ,me. Its all about me. don't even get me started on today's society and their ME ME ME attitude....there isn't enough time.
I know the panic feeling WR, you've got to breath. We know joy, we know happiness. look at the sky, look at the trees, look at your children.
you're absolutely right....I'm trying
Originally Posted By: snodderly
WR, Portia is correct when she says that they have had a jump start on mlc. Generally they have a lead in time of approximately 12-24 months before they drop the bomb about not being happy and wanting a divorce. It is very gradual and we don't see the signs until it is too late. Of course, it doesn't help that we aren't mind readers either.
I knew something wasn't right Snodderly....for a while. He wasn't right. Always so angry and jealous. I would tell him to go "find some happy" and go out with friends or we'd argue about the way he was treating me....I truly thought his new job was the answer to my prayers-give him the happiness he was desperate for
We live in a very fast paced world. They do not. When they are saying they want a divorce, cut ties, etc., they are already 2 or more years ahead of us. As he moves along the tunnel, he will eventually slow down to a crawl, but at the beginning many of them appear very quick and concise about what they want and do. well, I hope that he slows down soon because he's on hyperdrive and I'm trying to keep up and not successfully
Please try to keep in mind that he's lashing out at the world and you are the safest person for him to do this too. They always say you hurt the one you love and believe me, it's true when it comes to dealing w/mlc. Try to picture him as a lion in a very small cage trying to break free. That is what your h is doing. You, the marriage and family are symbols of responsibility. He can't deal w/that right now. He has to break free, run and try to recapture his youth in order to go back to a time he was emotionally stunted. He has to grow up from that point on. I know it's difficult to accept that he's just a very angry person right now, but try to step away from his antics as much as you can.
that analogy is very helpful (lion in a cage) running is all he knows to do, the only example he's ever been given. He ran when I got pregnant. Ran before we got married. Running again. He should be 90lbs with all this running
When your h realizes that you aren't going to fight w/him on things, he may settle down. He needs that anger to help him keep his "loving" feelings from you. He needs that anger to spur him on and no matter what you do or anyone else does, if the actions or comments strike him wrong, he'll become angry. They have no control over that anger right now.
so, so angry.....at first people were wondering what I had done to deserve the anger and now it would seem he's just getting angrier. You are right that he would be angriest at me, with all the running I've never abandoned him....I'm like the mom of rebel teenager knowing he can blame for all the wrongs of the world and I'll still love him.....maybe that's something I've done wrong?
Continue to pray. God does hear you. Come here to vent, scream or ask questions. Okay? I will continue to pray, without a doubt, and you all are like me knew "secret" best friends....I thank you all!!
Originally Posted By: RosaLinda
I'm glad to hear you are doing yoga Rose. TVS mentioned how good it is for her soul AND body. Maybe I'll try it too ! you should Linda....it's a great way to remember to breath:) I do more of a power/flow yoga, thing yoga that builds muscle and a sweat, but start with a beginners class.... It must be harder for you Standers with young children, to protect them, help them feel safe and loved, and to GAL. my biggest feeling of failure is that I'm not doing what is best for them.....and in my dark moments I wonder how God allowed me to have children with this man. I feel guilt over this as well
I can tell you what MY H thinks, willb. He said that a cheating MLCer his family was discussing is rationalizing his bad choices and hurtful behavior towards his wife and family to excuse and forgive himself, so he could live with himself. He saw absolutely no correlation between his own behavior and the almost identical behavior they were discussing. all, I can say to this is WOW unFRICKINbelievable!!
How are you doing Linda? your eye site?
On another note. My dad has been in hospital, currently in Italy, with gallstones and has had one surgery and now needs another one. He's going to be fine but at first my mom and aunts were in a bit of a panic. Last night S18 came home to tell me my FIL was in hospital for passing out twice and a throwing up blood. H had to run to the hospital and called S18. I messaged my SIL to tell her I knew and was praying that he healed quickly, she said it's a bleeding ulcer and they are still running tests. I did text H to say that S18 had told me and I hoped that everything worked out OK and that I was praying. No response. My mom also FB messaged H to say the same thing. No response. He knows about my dad too....I know that there is no expectation but really? you couldn't say thank you to my mom (more of a mom to him than his own!) and say that he hopes my dad is ok......he's just RUDE!
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
