The boys and I had a wonderful vacation with our friends. We were treated to lots of fun and enrichment - museums, day on the lake, kid activities, dinner out, etc. While there we felt completely normal and so far removed from the life that has caused so much grief. We're close with my friend's family and with her sister and family a few doors away we were part of a large, supportive, loving family with lots of conversation and laughs around the dinner table, long conversations, constant hugs and kisses, etc. The boys and I don't have that in our home life. We have friends and our own routine, but it's not the same.
We've been back for a week and are determined to keep the good feelings going. We are focused on creating a better life for ourselves for the time we are here. Xh is going to make that difficult. He met with the boys therapist while we were gone and apparently he still blames me for everything and was full of justifications. The therapist said he has multiple agendas and he saw a side of xh that he doesn't like. Their meeting didn't go well. I received a hostile text from xh saying he is about done with the therapist which means he won't continue to pay for the boys to see him. This doesn't surprise me. Xh thought he would find someone to patch up the boys and all would be well. He doesn't want to hear the truth about the damage his actions have caused. This is so typical. When xh disagreed with me he would hang up the phone, leave the house and go dark for a bit. He's a runner.
I have been avoiding contacting my attorney and she hasn't contacted me. I assume a final settlement hasn't been reached or she would be after my signature. I have to call her on Monday to get an update, but I'm dreading it. I've had a taste of what life will be like once the business is settled and I no longer have fear of what xh can do. But for now, that's not reality. Xh can still mess with my life, particularly my housing. Before I left his attorney was clear that he and xh wanted to get the settlement wrapped up. We'll see.
I'm trying very hard to persevere and not let fear take over. I'm fighting for normalcy, but I feel like I'm just distracting myself from reality. It's confusing.
