Just friends is OK for now

[MileHigh]

Squirrel update. Got a text asking about what movie to see, and a FB message asking if she could do laundry here.

Then I got a text saying she understand if I hate her and that relationship hasn't changed, and if I don't want to do things as friends she'd understand. Not sure which R she was referring too (ambiguous language, ours) but I just let it slide.

She immediately followed up with asking how I got produce (I mentioned it on FB) and if I needed groceries to let her know. Then asked me to remind her about getting cat food and litter when we're at Petsmart tonight. Then she made a joke about my FB profile and we bantered back and forth a bit on that.

For us, if we are going to make any progress, we do need to be friends. For some people, that doesn't work. I understand that. And I was prepared for the 2 steps forward, 1 step back dance. So, just staying the course. Wish me luck for being a good DBer tonight. Going to be several hours, so it's going to take some endurance.

[MileHigh]

Of course that "warning" text did have me pondering about OM, and status of that. BUT - the important thing is I'm really not obsessing about it. Just brought it to the surface a bit. It's more of a distraction.

Going to carry on tonight as if....

On the downside, I pulled a muscle in my back using a floor vac to clean a ceiling fan... DOH! I have a bad back, so doesn't take much. Took 2 Aleve, and am trying to take it easy. Not going to let this ruin the night. It's not a bad one, so that I can't walk or anything. Just have to grin and bear it.

[MileHigh]

Well, it's actually a canister vac. I'm not THAT stupid. :-/

If there's anyone out there.... wish me luck tonight.

[slow_it_down]

Sounds like she's looking forward to seeing you but wants to make sure she doesn't give you the wrong impression of why she's coming so things don't get serious. And you don't need luck, you know what to do -- keep things light, validate, and let her lead. You got this!

Also, if things were going really well w/ OM I don't think she'd be spending her Fri night w/ you. So why stress about it?

Have fun and enjoy the movie.

[MileHigh]

Thanks! I think you're right.

She's on the way.... It'll be good to be out of the house, and the neighborhood, and to see a movie, regardless.

Yeah, I got this.

[lovethehub]

Hope you're having fun. I agree with Slow it Down that if things were going great with OM she wouldn't be at the movie with you right now.

[MileHigh]

We ended up deferring the movie, because she started work at 7 this morning, and doesn't like driving at night even when she's not tired. But she suggested we try again next Friday, a bit earlier. I was almost glad, because my back was hurting even more than I expected. It was very emotionally draining, too, as you can imagine!

But, we did go to Petsmart, and spent some time here while she did laundry. Quality time, LOL.

We survived the awkward silences in the car. Amazing how hard it is to make small talk with someone who's heard all your stories. :-/ Chatted a little about safe topics like shows we like in common. The most difficult moments were a couple times when my rusty driving skills caused her to panic a bit. Eek!

I did very well with PMA, keeping my cool (even with the traffic, which was awful!). So, in the end, I did my very best, and that's ok by me.

Maybe next time will be even smoother.

[MrBond]

Have you been reading anything on how to communicate with your spouse? I don't mean deep intimate conversations, but just learning how to re-open comfortable conversations with her.

[MileHigh]

I haven't. Any suggestions? I probably should study more of DR, too, than the LRT section. Read that over and over.

[MileHigh]

Mr Bond, I just read your answer on another post to basically the same question I asked. I'll do some Googling and see what resources I can turn up.