So Drained

[Hurt84]

Thanks everyone for the feedback. It's been a few days and I've been focusing on me and what I have to do to be a better man, for myself and my wife if things ever get back on track. I made some plans tonight to catch up with some friends and then we'll see where the rest of the weekend takes us.

I've also been reflecting on things and I was thinking about some of what Breakdown said, specifically the question "what do you think you have done that has contributed to your M getting to this point?" I think the answer is actually quite simple, I didn't do anything. Anything as in, I just continued with what had been working, or at least what I thought it was, and didn't look to change my approach or things as indicators would pop up. I took our relationship for granted because it seemed so "easy". We never fought but was that because we didn't have problems? Or was it because we appeased each other? I think it's clear now what the answer to that question is.

All it took was for people other than me to take interest in her to upset the applecart, or at least mine. Looking back now, any time we had problems it was because someone other than me took interest in her. Is that her looking for someone else, or was it me trying to control her and who she associated with? We had this problem before our wedding when she started hanging out with a male coworker, last year obviously with her affair and now with her going out and detaching again. Each time it was new people in her life that she was drawn towards, which in turn drew her away from me.

I was reading some other posts on the forum and many of them have similar situations where the WAS talks about wanting a divorce but hasn't done anything with it to date. This is the second go around for me in two years with this situation and I'm curious if I should continue to treat it as a shot across the bow technique from her, or if I should prepare to eventually go down that road. As far as I'm concerned, I have no intentions of initiating that process and I've made that crystal clear but I also don't want to keep whistling in the dark if that makes any sense.