Wonka, thanks for your insightful comments - I think my xh was bullied by his father, rather than being a bully himself. I think his behaviour in this respect is acting out
And yes, i think xh feels 'inferior' in some way to me - he didn't pre MLC but he gradually saw himself as diminished, and so he does this idiotic and really laughable pompous act. It used not to make me laugh, it used to hurt, but now I can see him strutting around and trying to be the big bully.
Fear and insecurity are a big part of this, no doubt about it. most people seem to be plunged into MLC by things that do not destablize a more secure person - loss being a big one.
However my rather shrewd therapist thinks it is masks that they put on to deal with it, rather than MLC being their true self. They cease to become their authentic self - gradually that disappears, and the masks take over veiling the pain, but also the real person.
Don't know. I would be interested to see what others think. The person who contacts me isn't my real husband - I have discussed this before, and know others differ on this. To me this man is the alien who lives in my husband's body, just as Mr Hyde took over dr Jekyll. It doesn't mean Dr J never existed. Mr Hyde isn't more 'real' than Dr J, but he certainly has the upper hand right now!! He bores me, and I wish he would go away but he seems set on staying, so we soldier on.
