Guess I belong here now...

[sweetbabyred]

So, I'd been asking for a sign and maybe I got one. Last night I worked an event and realized I left something in my car.

When I walked out to get it, an older woman about 20 feet away who was tailgating called out to me and asked if she could tell me something.

I walked over and she said "God wanted me to tell you everything is going to be okay. You're going to get the news you were waiting for soon and you're going to be okay. I have no idea what it's about, but I had to tell you."

A few months ago I would have written her off as a crazy person, but you never know. I've been telling God that I'm not good with subtle hints and saying that I just need to know what to do, even if it needs to be knocked into me!

Sweet, might be a 2x4 for you, but I'm no expert, I'm in the same boat though.

Hmm, can it be a 2x4 if I agree with what you're saying? lol

Have you gone NC?

It sounds like to me he is there when he needs something but not when there is nothing to be gained. It is damaging to you.

I haven't really gone nc, but I don't initiate contact. I let him make the first move. If he wants to call, text, or see me, he has to put forth the effort.

And I got another example of him "using me" yesterday.

The other night at dinner we were talking about a movie sequel that was coming out and he said that one of our friends planned to go see it friday for his birthday.

He invited me to come, but I told him I already had plans.

Yesterday, I get a text from him, asking what I'm doing on Friday night.

Seems he forgot that he was going to have his son this weekend and was trying to get me to watch him so he could go to the movie and then we'd all meet up for dinner after.

I told him I already had plans and reminded him that he'd invited me to go see the movie.

I think it's tough for me because my love languages are quality time and acts of service, so I actually want to help him/spend time with him.

But I would never watch his son so that he could go out with friends to something I'm also invited to. He'd try to do that in the past, even when we were together, and would then complain that we never did anything together. Did he ever get a sitter so the two of us could go out? Of course not.

You said "He says he'll be jealous when I start dating other people" Uhhh duh dude, your not giving him any focus if you have someone else lined up. This will kill his ego.

Well, I've tentatively got a date lined up for Monday night, so we'll see how I do. I'm nervous and not sure if I'm ready, but I guess I won't find out until I try it. I don't have anyone else lined up, but I do have options. I just don't think I'm ready to put up with anyone else right now.

Take care of you, Go NC, see how that does. I'm sorry this is tough, but you have God, you have DB.com you don't need him. If he comes back and is willing to work on your relationship and not talk about all the women that are lined up because he now has a mask on, a shiny new car and his awesome 1 bedroom apartment. Then give him the chance. Let him work on him and you and you. You got this!

Brobafet, I know I don't need him! I've always been independent and I just need to remember that. I love him, but I'll be okay with or without him.

And it does get easier to not think about him when I don't hear/see him for days or weeks. It's hard at first, but then I keep myself busy.

I'd been trying to decide what to do, but I think it may be a good idea not to see him. If he knows that I'd always be there, he has no incentive to become a better person. He hasn't had to actually miss me yet.