You raise very good points about the MLCer and it made me think about it some more.
Yes, it svcks royally that the LBS and their families are collateral damage to the MLCer. It speaks to their level of desperation in getting away from 'that problem' that they, at some level, really can't be too concerned about the damage they inflict on loved ones.
In regards to male MLCers, it seems to me that the Mr. Hyde asserts himself in the long-term to squash the LBS and tear down the W to an insiginificant level in order to elevate themselves. I see it with WH, Rose, your sitches. This makes me wonder if they were bullies in their youth which seems to mainifest to a larger extent in MLC and beyond. How else do you explain the God-awful crueltieis displayed in their actions and behaivors for a long-period of time?
Another observation about the mean MLCer and the OW. In oder to build up their low self-esteem and self-worth, they need to integrate themselves with the OW who thinks of the MLCer as a "prince" who rescued them from their 'awful' life and works hard to reduce their wives to dust as if to obilterate them from their lives. To me, there's a lot of fear and insecurity underneath the surface that manifests itself as anger, spewing, loopy-de-doo irrational thinking.
Seems to me that the filter in the brain shuts down and the real 'wounded person' makes an appearance via MLC. I guess it all depends on the extent of the original wound determines the length and severity of the MLC. Another factor to take into account is the person's true personality. All of those variables come in play during MLC, D, post-D interactions.
I'm interested in hearing your thoughts from your tiki-hut vantage point of view on my stab at analyzing your H, Bea.
