Is this cake eating 14

[AnotherStander]

AS, I'm covered re this (debit) account - the details just keep popping up on my record.

Excellent, that's a relief to hear! My W had a bank account that was through the same bank as my CC and because both accounts had the same mailing address they linked "alerts" to both accounts. After she moved out I was getting overdraft alerts weekly. I never said anything to her, just marveled at how frequently she was overdrawn. Sounds like something similar with you, you see the alerts but it's not dinging you personally.

I googled, and it's a luxury lingerie shop. He spent $200 there.

He is seriously THE posterboy for MLC!!!!

You couldn't write this stuff as a work of fiction and get away with so many cliches.

Couldn't agree with you more, it's surreal!

I suppose I am going to accept my lawyer's view that there is no point in trying to get xh to agree to a settlement, and proceed to trial.

I'm glad you're proceeding, obviously we're very pro-marriage here but you are one of the rare cases that the potential damage is so great that it really looks like divorcing is the best way to protect yourself and the kids for now. He was a LONG road to recovery ahead and he has not even taken the first step down that road. Who knows what the future holds, he may make that journey and years from now emerge a better person looking to reconcile. We can hope. But for now, you've got to protect yourself!

XH has opted out of the process and so the trial will be undefended.

You're kidding! He won't negotiate with you, but he's not going to defend himself either? He is definitely on the crazy-train, he may be the engineer!