Hardened heart continues II

[TryingToDo180]

Hi 2old. I am still new to all of this. I did notice that there is a direct correlation between me cycling down and me focusing on WAS rather than myself. Its early so I don't know if i am being clear on that. I mean every time I stop focusing on myself, my kids, and my GALing and instead focus on WAW I begin to feel down. just my newbie thoughts. So, keep your head up, focus on you, and know we all will be here with you in your journey.

I agree with you MC I was annoyed at my H last night and as a result I didn't get much sleep! I should be ok tonight though as I've had a busy day

[TryingToDo180]

Jim Conway is an author similar to MWD, he wrote a few books the main one is called "Men in MLC"
another book to add to my ever growing list, lol

[TryingToDo180]

I tend to believe what goes around comes around. That is if you are good to people they are good to you and if you are mean to people you are in for trouble.

And yet Christ was crucified.

AS I don't want to start preaching to you. As a believer you should already know why Christ had to be crucified - to save us from our sins If you also believe in Karma or what goes around comes around, look what happened to Judas Anyway like I said I don't want to get into an argument about this, it was just a quote that I got from the internet not my own words which is why it is in blue. Hope you're keeping a PMA anotherstander

[2old]

I am trying so hard to get past this. Tha last couple of days have really been hard. Why? I swear I dont understand why I cant just let her go. I dont understand...She is already gone, I have no choice in that and I know I can only do for me at this point. Still, though it hurts. I need something that will erase these sad cycles. I want nothing more than to be me again. I am too old for this crap...Is there not a way to just shut your heart off...........

[Rick1963]

2old are you in counseling? If you can afford it try and see one. It may help a bit. Also see a doctor for some antidepressants. Worth the try. I don't know your religious beliefs but if you can't afford a counselor go see a pastor. They are usually free and well trained.
It takes time for the feelings to go away. They will but it takes time. So feel them, talk to us about them, write them down on here. It really helps.

[Makingchanges]

Focus on GAL. When you find the activities you really like you will think on them more and more. You will begin to look forward to them. just my 2c

[TryingToDo180]

I agree with Rick My counsellor came through the Church as well and it's so nice to be able to talk to someone who shares the same beliefs as you The pastor will be able to help as well, or know someone who will be able to help.
Anti depressants do help. I've been on my for ages and they've made me feel a lot better I know when I've forgotton my one as I get all irritable.
Anyway, take care, keep posting and speak to you soon

[Cadet]

Good advice from Rick and Trying

Here are my thoughts, the WAS/MLC'er run away from these feelings.

We need to face them head on.
No avoiding, or self medicating.
They last as long as they last and they are real.
I wish there was a shorcut or a quick fix but that does not exist.
The one cure is TIME.
You can deal with the symptoms and the subsets of what is going on.
Let it out if possible.
I have seen LBS's contract serious diseases and even die by avoiding the stress that this causes.
Personally my cholestrol went up by over 100 point and I had never had these problems before and once I started taking care of myself it all went away.

So when I say to eat, sleep, exercise I know that is all important.

[2old]

Yes, it really is all about TIME. At the moment I continue going from angry to sad to I just dont give a shirt...then back around again...Cadet, I wanted to ask you about this. How did you deal with the knowledge your WAW had depression, confusion or MLC and you couldn't help her to see this? I realize you didnt see it in the beginning based on what u said on how you came here in the originally thinking. What Im trying to get at is when it's so obvious they r in a fog or confused either husband or wife how can they seem to do so well in their day to day living, work, etc..just everyday life... You would think that anyone somewhat close to them would notice something is amiss.....

[Cadet]

Yes, it really is all about TIME. At the moment I continue going from angry to sad to I just dont give a shirt...then back around again...Cadet, I wanted to ask you about this. How did you deal with the knowledge your WAW had depression, confusion or MLC and you couldn't help her to see this? I realize you didnt see it in the beginning based on what u said on how you came here in the originally thinking. What Im trying to get at is when it's so obvious they r in a fog or confused either husband or wife how can they seem to do so well in their day to day living, work, etc..just everyday life... You would think that anyone somewhat close to them would notice something is amiss.....

All true but then they get rid of anyone that does not agree with them, for instance(like us), my children, friends.

I am not sure that she has dealt with that just yet.
However she is no longer my problem.

The only thing I can tell you is that if you study mnetal illness, or alcholics then you find out that you need to let go, and they need to help themselves.
It is the only way through this mess.