Harder and Harder......Part three

[JuneReN]

Ruby- the fog is lifting- and I'm seeing little rays of sunshine......and it scares me. Could she have actually done me a favor?

We get to be the ones who decide. That is our power. We are responsible for us. and not our spouses.

[tori2012]

PS, I'm glad to see how much you're learning. When we have a big fall we can really grow and change. I would never be doing all the great things I'm doing and finally following my calling had I remained with Joe. Whatever is happening was supposed to happen--the proof is that is happening.

Thank you for your post on my thread :-)

[Positivespin]

I'm realizing that as I'm learning more and more about myself - I'm resembling a MLC.

Looking for major life changes
Change in appearance
Increased thirst for adventure

Etc etc.....LOL

I want a flippin jeep! Learn guitar, learn to sail - told you MLC

There is sooooo much to see waiting in front of all of us!

Ruby and GTO you are both beautiful and intelligent - the world is your oyster ...suck the marrow out of life - karpe diem!!!

I have my beautiful d3 so I can't go balls to the wall batshnit crazy but if my wife is deciding to stay on her "African safari" ( I wanted to top the name "Mg" Ruby). Then I need to start attacking the bucket list level stuff......

Thank you all for hanging with me

[littleGTO]

PS,

Thanks for the compliments! You are too kind!

It is interesting how the power shifts from the WAS to the LBS. When that happens you know you are arriving at a new place... a better place. The place where you regain CONTROL of your own life.

It isn't the life you thought you wanted but here it is, ready to happen.

I love your short list and even more your PMA, PS! Good for you!

[RealityTrip]

I'm realizing that as I'm learning more and more about myself - I'm resembling a MLC.

Looking for major life changes
Change in appearance
Increased thirst for adventure

The other day I was thinking on this. I'll be Forty - (40!!! Oh No!) Right around the corner! And I don't want the crazy making MLC water! Then I realized that I am in crisis! HA! I think our spouses force us into a life transistion that we may or may not have had without them triggering it. Ours may be more productive though... because we enter it in sound mind, eyes wide open. Kind of like a car wreck. So many people close their eyes before impact but if you keep them open you increase your chances to respond and survive.

[labug]

I think that's just finally figuring out who you are.

[Positivespin]

I had a pity party with myself tonight.........I was the host, the guest and the man of the hour. I was thinking about sending out invites to all of you but the pen was gliding along on my journal as the tears were flowing- it was actually a great pity party

I got a lot accomplished.

I have a very bad memory. In sucky times, like this, it's an asset. Other times, like memories with d3 it's an obvious weakness. This is why I kept a journal. I figured years from now- when I'm out of this and looking back- it would bring back some memories.

Well volume 2 of my journal begins June 5. I was 202 lbs and broken because my little girl was spending her first night away from me.

Revisiting those past pages also taught me something............My wife is a _______

You don't see it in the moment. From one day to the next it happens so slightly,like a drippy faucet, then one day you realize you have a bathtub full of poop.

I was looking back - just 2 months ago, when she was still at the house and the things she did, those lies, the muffled phone calls downstairs............why the hell did I put up with it?????

Tonight was a pity party- a f'ing AWESOME pity party

True growth happened tonight my friends

[littleGTO]

PS,
Thinking of you tonight...I had one of those pity parties a couple nights ago, so know what you are going through.

Live it, and let it pass. You have made amazing growth...celebrate that, my friend!

-turtle

[JuneReN]

I had one yesterday lol and to some extent today

I agree with Turtle, you have come a long, long way!!!

[Positivespin]

GTO and Ruby - TY for the thoughts

Like I said it was GREAT growth. Thank god for the Jimmy Buffett concert in the background.....LOL

Its these times that I get to experience, that she does not, which have made me stronger and will continue to do so.

for a while I used to think I needed to "Man up". Now I think of tears as a detox.

It was dark and quiet and I was alone. Good quality thinking time.

But my journal is pretty awesome