Sthelen, It is definitely NOT ok that he is having an affair. I don't think that you think little of yourself, you are just in a tough situation right now and you have a lot of history with your H, you have been together for so many years, I imagine that is why you are still holding on. For me, that is the case anyhow.

You will have to do some serious thinking about where to go from here, and what is acceptable for you. Do you have any indication that he will end it with her? If he did, would you want to stay with him? My opinion would be for you to take a long while to think over and weigh all of the options before making a rash decision. Because, in my situation, I have felt very angry at times and once I actually told my H that I wanted to separate, only to wake up the next morning so angry at myself, because I wasn't sure of my decision. Make sure that you are 100% if and when the time comes.

Take care,
-cp

M: 8 yrs T:14
Twins:7 S:5
BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013
Mar/Apr/May: MC
June: "living in limbo"
Sept 12: H moves out
Oct 20: reconciling
Jan-Feb 2014:MC
Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.