Hi NLT! Just catching up on your doings! I can't believe you actually planted that earring! What will Ellie think of next? I did the same sort of thing when my H went to the airport to pick up his "friend" (the notorious RT) last March. I already had a lot of stuff in the car, my umbrella and some spare gloves and hand lotion. But I tucked in a lot of feminine girly things, make up and perfume and a floaty flirty scarf. I don't know what RT made of it all, but it was all moved, so I know she checked EVERYTHING out
"His response to my comment on putting the ow on his health insurance through work made about as much sense as me calling her. When I asked him why he would risk losing his job and getting himself into some serious trouble for defrauding the insurance company, he said it was only in case of an emergency. The added that as soon as ow's h started his job that she'd be covered again under his policy. He knows that the insurance company is n't going care WHY. Just another symptom of mlc....stupidity."
This is more than MLC craziness, it is more like magical thinking. It's okay to defraud the insurance company when you plan to only use the insurance for emergencies? The putting her on the policy is the fraud. And your H's OW is still MARRIED? Is that the guy who was asking about MLC resources? I can't remember if that was your sitch NLT, or someone elses. So much craziness on this forum. How did he get her on his insurance anyway? Did he claim they are married? That she is his daughter? Holy cow!
Waiting impatiently to hear for any feedback on the earring! When will you get to check if it has been moved?
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
This is more than MLC craziness, it is more like magical thinking.
Actually in my experience MLC is just like magical thinking - whatever reality the MLCer constructs is true to them. My previously upright law abiding citizen xh tried to get one of his sons to take the rap for a minor offence!!!!!! Unbelievable. He said when everyone shrieked at him that he couldn't see why it mattered.
So defrauding the insurance company - no problem. They are entitled. Reality reforms around them. That is what enealbes them to walk away from a long marriage
Hi Bea and RL RL, How is your eye doing? Take care of yourself. You need to be 100% for your trip! Any more results from the tests?
We can be devious when we need to be, can't we? I love that you left things in the car that your h was using while RT was here. I'm sure she checked everything out looking for clues as to who her competition was. LOL Fortunately, most of us don't see the op as the competition but rather an irritating habit or obsession that our spouses have picked up on their journey. So the next time you think of the RT, think of her that way and that he'll grow out of it as he matures.
As for the health insurance and the ow. Yep, she's married and apparently isn't ready to give up her h or her lifestyle back home yet. He registered her as his SO on the insurance. Most companies have that as an option for unmarried people. Yeah, that was a bit of a slap but unless it comes back to bite me then I don't care. As far as the insurance company is concerned, I had no idea that he put her on there as a SO and since my daughter and I have insurance, I would have no reason to give up mine for his. This past year they changed his insurance to one of those high deductible types that has a huge out of pocket amount. I would have opted out of his anyway and stayed with my traditional PPO. So yes, he will be in big trouble should the insurance company catch on to his scam.
Bea, you are so right. Like your H, mine feels entitled to that and everything else that he wants. That's part of the reason that I wanted to expose him, he needs a wake-up call. My h is so much like yours in that in his business world he is well regarded and in many ways has the "Midas touch". He's been very successful and has had "people" that do the menial chores for him. Admin assistants, minions and yes people to take the blame for any (God forbid) errors that he might make. Over the past few years that entitlement attitude has spilled over into his personal life. I understand how that happens in business, people putting them on a pedestal and hanging on their every thought or idea but at least pretend to be humble in your personal life! It's pretty sad to watch this man turn into a monster that way.
H called and left a message early this morning saying that his internet wasn't working again and that he'd see me in a few minutes. He didn't ask, he just told me he was coming over assuming that I would be here. If I'd had a bit more warning I would have left before he got here. He did some work, made some calls and left saying that he'd be back around 8pm. I didn't ask why but it can't be good. He's usually winding down by this time of the evening. Not sure what he's got on his mind but I'm thinking positive at this point. Keep me in your thoughts just in case.
More later
Oh, btw, nothing on the earring yet.
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
The internet issues continue, or so he says. He said he had an important email to respond to. One that he knew he'd be getting around 8pm? Funny, the ow is back and her business depends on having access to the internet so what is she doing? At least he hasn't brought her over to use MY internet.
He stayed and talked for about 1/2 an hour, looking around the house making comments on how nice it looked. Still no mention of the earring. He said he'd probably be working from home tomorrow so I suspect he'll need to come over at least once tomorrow. Hope he doesn't expect me to be here. I have a full morning and won't be home when it's convenient for him to come by. If I could trust him, I'd let him work here during the day when I'm not here. He's one that needs complete quiet when he works. I'm sure that he has anything but quiet with the ow's constant prattling. Maybe that's why he sounded so exasperated when he called on his way over this morning.
You have to wonder why they put up with so much from the op when they had it so good at home. It's more than puzzling to me as to how we can have semi-rational, non confrontational conversations most of the time but then to watch him leave to go back to a house that is anything but peaceful and comfortable for him.
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
You have to wonder why they put up with so much from the op when they had it so good at home.
Lol - SO true!
My current boyfriend, who thinks I am the coolest woman he EVER dated, AND the easiest to get along with, simply CANNOT wrap his head around why my ex left me. Actually, ALL of the boyfriends I have had since my divorce felt the same way!
I think sometimes they just have to have something different. Not better, just different. Just trying to find something to plug up the big hole they have inside.
I think sometimes they just have to have something different. Not better, just different. Just trying to find something to plug up the big hole they have inside.
^^^This. Because we all know, if you hung around in a M for 2 or 3 DECADES with few to no complaints, it must've been pretty good.
My own lovely W summed it it like this:
"I know I've had a good life and should just shut up and be happy, but I can't help but wonder if there is something better out there for me. Even if I fall flat on my face, I feel like I have to try."
(!!!)
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
If they needed something different then they should have asked. We are creative spouses....if they wanted drama, we could have done drama. If they wanted a "new attitude", we could have been a b or a jerk, needy or whatever it is that they think they're missing! LOL I guess I shouldn't speak for you two but I can be a woman of many different faces! HA! The problem is, he knows that and still chose to take up with another person.
kml, Don't you wish some of these men that you're dating would call your xh and tell him what a fool he was to give you up? My h said the same thing about the last long term relationship that I was in before he and I met. "Your old bf was a fool to give you up." Wish I could remind him of what he said all of those years ago. Although I think he knows that, he just can't help himself. We're having the same conv on T2's thread right now.
Fy, good point. People don't usually hang around for decades with a person that they can't think of anything specific or significant to complain about. Doesn't it feel good to hear them say that they KNOW how fortunate they are/were?
Keep doing what you're doing. You're almost there...wherever that is. LOL
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
At least he hasn't brought her over to use MY internet.
That made me laugh out loud. The woman my xh left me for was batchit crazy, and he knew it. He said that I gave him calm and space, and was kind and fun to be around (when he wasn't spewing at me, which wasn't often!)
OW2 is apparently the dullest woman on God's earth. You just have to wonder why
He is certainly having his fill of something different.
If they needed something different then they should have asked.
Thing is, they gave up on us. They believe they know everything about us and that we can never change. This is where we have to shake things up a bit, and keep them guessing!
Quote:
People don't usually hang around for decades with a person that they can't think of anything specific or significant to complain about. Doesn't it feel good to hear them say that they KNOW how fortunate they are/were?
It does confirm the whole "it's not about the M" and "We didn't break 'em and can't fix 'em" thoughts on MLC.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
