He's the confused one...

[complicated]

B I'm so glad you're doing better. As AJ said we've all been accused of something, well everything.

Work on your own happiness and hopefully someday he will see just how "crazy" he really is. Until then try not to get caught up in his antics. He has to be able to prove it and it's hard to prove something that hasn't happened.

[Portia]

Hey B,

It is good to hear you sounding stronger. You'll have your moments, we all do, but there is that big breath before the plunge into the unknown.

I have carried my grief, but not devastation. It is a different kind of feeling.

Here's to you!

[BRNR]

Hi all!!!

Just updating. It has been a while, and I actually have some down time. YAY!

Well, nothing much has happened on my end. I have actually gone dark with H (I think it has been a month) for my own sanity...it has helped me TREMENDOUSLY!!!

I have no desire to see him, talk to him, or communicate with him. Honestly, I don't even really want a R anymore, but as Snodderly suggested "do nothing" at least about the sitch has been my motto. Besides I don't have the time, energy or money to pour into and don't want to waste my valuable resources doing so.

Stuff surfaces everyday of all the lies, deceit and betrayal H pulled to be with OW, as I do cleaning around my house, hear from family, or friends who have "seen or heard things" that I wasn't aware of. And it only singes my heart for the moment and then I move on. Such a good place to be.

So for the past month I have lived...enjoyed my family, friends, and new found freedom honestly.

H managed to lie in family court and got a 3 week delay...judge still ordered him to pay something until we reconvene as he hadn't contributed to the family finances in two months...so not sure what the delay is about.

As far as the alleged assault charges, yes he is using this to try and gain leverage in family court for support. It was his first words when the judge spoke to him. I am not at all concerned with this, called in some favors to have a very good attorney for the "charges" and called in some other favors that are sure to get that case dismissed.

So all in all, life is good. Oh, and I must be giving of very good PMA, because I have been flirted with left and right within the past couple of weeks. Even got asked to go to dinner when I have some free time.

I am not sure that I want to start any relationships, but maybe some dinner dates might not be bad for me...IDK. I haven't made any plans or decisions on this, so no worries people

[Portia]

B,

It's great to hear that you are doing well. I never doubted it for a second!

[BRNR]

Hi all. It has been a while since I poked my head in.

Things in my sitch are the same as when I last wrote. Nothing new, nothing different. My feelings of being done are the same and have gotten stronger with every passing day. My life has been going well. I can't complain.

I have started dating. I guess my personality has shown to be a good one, I get hit on left and right and after turning so many away, I couldn't help but to start to take some of the guys up on their offers of dinner, coffee, and nights of fun and companionship. Nothing is serious or exclusive with any of them, but I have enjoyed the times shared and have seen so many great qualities in guys that I had forgotten about. It makes me eager to see what man the future holds for me. I have a better grasp of my wants and needs in a mate/spouse.

So, a little anxiety today...I go to court for the assault charges the my H falsely accused me of. I don't know how things will go, as I haven't talked or seen H in two months really. Who knows where he is in his journey.

Wish me luck! I am popping some Xanax this morning to calm my nerves a bit. It seems I have gotten the short end of the stick this entire time, and I am ready for some justice on my end.

I will try to pop in and let you know the outcome of today's events.

As always, thinking of everyone here. GM, Portia, I miss talking with you both. I hope all as well as could be in your lives. Snodderly and AJ, I will be channeling your strength and wisdom today. And everyone else that I didn't personally mention...hugs! Hugs to you all!

[job]

Good luck today! I hope that the judge will see through this and toss it out. Dress to the "nines" and hold your head up, look everyone in the eye and remain as calm as you can. If something is said that upsets you, try not to react...let it roll off your back. You'll get your say too.

[BRNR]

Thanks Snodderly...so matter was postponed. The prosecutor advised h to drop the charges because of the circumstances around them, and more importantly the effect it would have on the children we shared...it was no deal on his part and he wants me prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Funny thing is, that at our civil trial two-three weeks ago, he stated he had an attorney regarding this matter and didnt show up with one then or today...while I showed up with one at both.

I think H is far gone and thinks he is going to be able to use some of his smooth talking salesman skills to sweet talk his way into getting whatever it is he wants out of this.

I feel good...and didn't say a word at court and had a smile and carefree presence there....he bolted out of court when he heard the matter was being postponed...I believe he wasn't too happy. I think he was hoping to get some charges pressed against me today so he could use them to his advantage when we went to civil court next week for the custody and support...

So, until next time...thank you for allowing me to "vent". Although I feel that the outcome of this sitch is not anything that I am really worried about and just see as a nuisance if anything.

[job]

I'm sorry it was postponed, but then again, I'm tickled pink that he didn't get what he wanted. If he had an attorney, he would have been represented both times. I don't think he has one.

As for you, continue being the wonderful person you are. Smile no matter what and let the other people wonder why you are smiling.

Enjoy your day!

[AJM]

Very nice to hear that things are looking up :0)

Also nice to hear that the prosecutor suggested dropping the charges and he refused publicly.

A nuisance indeed.

Peace,
AJ

[BRNR]

So, updating...man it has been a while since I have been to these boards.

I guess I don't really have anything new to share. My focus has so been on my children and myself, that there really is no time for the sitch to creep in.

At this stage I kinda laugh about everything revolving around it (is that detachment?). From the little bits I hear of whats going on with h, his life is going down in flames, but he is bound and determine to make his choices work for him.

He has now started to be there for his children less and less. They seem to be coping with a "detached" attitude themselves.

So what is new... I think I am pulling the trigger on my divorce. I have secured some money to handle the legal fees I have incurred for everything and probably will make a move soon.

My reasoning is because H is destroying himself financially, and I don't want to be "Attached" to that anymore than I have to. But, I am still unsure, so no moves on my part other than securing the funds to do so.

Court for custody and support was postponed again by H's (now) attorney. This would be the second time he has had this matter postponed. I find it funny that for someone who wants his freedom, that he just doesn't get this matter over with and suffer the consequences.

Court for the assault was also delayed by H and now my attorney is trying to get the matter resolved through other means. Not sure where it is going, but it is what it is I guess.

So overall, I am good health, my sons are doing well, and ready to go back to school, and on a positive, I am starting to gain weight and have "reduced" smoking, with the intention of quitting by the end of the year. (hey, its a goal right?)

I will admit, that I haven't kept up with anyone's threads, it just seems there is very little time to do that anymore with me GAL. I am still casually dating, spending more time with my friends, and really just letting GO!!!

So all in all, I think I am doing good. Hope all my buddies here are doing as well as they can be under the circumstances.

Have a great day everyone.