Good morning all!

I am feeling much better today.. strange how that goes. We have still not had our talk about finances yet, and I am hoping to have a few days to think about my decision. I'm sure I will probably end up going back to my old job because it makes the most financial sense.

Had my first IC counseling session. I meshed really well with her, and she gave me a lot of insight and things to think about. It really made me put everything into perspective. She has given me a few things to consider.

I told her that my main concern was that I was in this limbo, and it was having an emotional toll on me and my well-being, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could take it. She has helped me to create a personal boundary, a timeframe in which I could remain in this limbo, feeling how I do, before I have decided that I have had enough. So I have now set that boundary for myself. I also told her that if things start to get better, and I start seeing improvements, that I could hold off for longer.

She has also suggested (as others have), that I should talk to a lawyer for that free initial consultation, just for peace of mind, and to figure out what kind of options I have for housing and such. I do think I might feel some relief after I figure out some of my options, and then I can stop worrying about "Plan B".

Basically, I am not happy with my relationship right now, and neither is H. Something has got to change or neither one of us is going to be happy. She also mentioned that I could have a brief talk with H, explaining that we cannot remain acting how we are now, that things need to start changing in order for us to go anywhere. Because what we are doing is not working for either of us.

She was glad that I stood up for myself and told him that he was treating me unkind, and that I would like for him to be nicer to me around the house.

I ended up going shopping after my appointment to get some neon clothes for my Color Run (our team is wearing bright colours). I am not sure WHY we are wearing colours when we are going to get sprayed with spray paint and look like a rainbow by the end of it anyhow! wink haha

When I got home from shopping H and I were both in a great mood and had a really nice evening together.

This all still feels like the Twilight Zone to me!!!!

Peace,
cp


M: 8 yrs T:14
Twins:7 S:5
BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013
Mar/Apr/May: MC
June: "living in limbo"
Sept 12: H moves out
Oct 20: reconciling
Jan-Feb 2014:MC
Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.