I'm still thinking a lot about Val's last questions:
Originally Posted By: Valeska19
What do you think it means to love your wife well in your current situation? Do you think your doing that?
Whilst I understand that this may make your heart melt, what do you plan on doing with this information?
How do you set the foundation to change your marriage based of this?
It only takes one to change the dynamic of the marriage, but you have to know what you want that dynamic to be.
So what is it?
Keep digging RT.
My question for myself has been... Is my truth lately, DB principle? Am I in a backslide inwardly? Do I care? Or is this new connection with my W exactly what I have been working for in regards to saving my M... outside of my personal work... and am I still vulnerable enough to recognize and investigate the possibilities?
Sometime last week I was driving down the road, I told myself for hours before I left the office that I needed to stop by a particular store on the way home. By the time I got out of my own head (thinking about my sitch) I was 3 miles past the store I wanted to go to. True story and honestly... I do that alot!
I don't want to drive past my wife.
And then I waffle...
Am I liking being alone? Are my changes permanent enough to be with anyone other than myself? Is it possible to continue to grow and gain strength unless I'm alone?
I think that "loving my wife well in my sitch" means giving her space to walk her path. It means to continue to take care of myself and grow so that if we do R, I and our M will be better for all of it. Am I "doing that?"... Lord knows I'm trying. I'm not perfect and that's ok.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Your right your not perfect........but pretty darn smart- your last paragraph is proof of that.
I'm glad that's pounded in your head because THAT'S the win!
Just remember, she needs the time to dig deep in herself too- and that hasn't happened
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Just remember, she needs the time to dig deep in herself too- and that hasn't happened
So true. So True. So True. I'm taping this one to my forehead!
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
SMILE the whole ride!!! You never know where they put that pesky little camera!
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
I have not received proper notification that you would be away for the weekend
I don't care how old you are!
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Me: 27 H: 27 Together: 11, M: 3 S 2 BD: 06/24/13 Living together H: EA - unknown current status Read: DB, 5LL (slowly reading DR) Back and forth we go...
It would really kickassif you came back and posted.......
" sorry, been gone so long......decided to go to costa rica and learn to surf but then some hot chick bartender was hitting on me so hard that I had to sneak out of the resort under cover of darkness to avoid her- never even got on a board"
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
the whole ride!!! You never know where they put that pesky little camera!
