I usually make my comments in dbland so i am more typically called dodependent or controlling lol! It's the lingo. Am ready for a new book so will check out wild thanks! I just read divergent and insurgent and thought they were terrific, so bummed when i found out book three allegient isnt out yet.
S15 has been doing loads and loads of laundrey, cleaned the basement with vacuum broom and duster , not sure what got into him? And cleaned and vacuumed his room. I made sure to compliment how responsible and helpful he was being. His friend was just recently complaining in my kitchen bc his mom never appreciates him, when he did some laundry she said well you should be doing it all the time. Boo. I said 'bummer." But i try to praise what they do thats good.
I realize a lot of what i feel overwhelmed with isnt that different from before. H doesnt ever get home from work till late afternoon so i have always had the afternoons and summer days to figure out around my p/t workday. There is more laundry bc my h did all his and mine before. But theres not a lot else that he carried the load within the house. It was just easier mentally knowing hevwas there i guess. Im chafing but not that much is different other than the feeling of being more responsible, feeling like im working without a net.
When i really consider i stop feeling like i can complain. Ive got a lot to be grateful for. Im more sad for h than for me
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
When i really consider i stop feeling like i can complain. Ive got a lot to be grateful for. Im more sad for h than for me
I understand this
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Ad, I think it's perfectly valid to complain, because as you said this is your place to let go of these emotions. You realize you complain, you realize you have stuff to be grateful for...I don't see the problem
I hear you about the lonely. It's the connection with another human being. We are social creatures, in the end. There comes a time when GAL and friends are not enough and that time frame differs for everyone.
Yep! When I used to ask my H to do stuff with me or connect with me or even just be nice to me he'd ridicule me and say I should have married a gay man because that was obviously what I wanted.
Nice.
Really he did have several redeeming qualities, but he could be a real jerk sometimes.
I just emailed him to ask for a spell Saturday night. I'm going out to see Buffet and tailgate before, just need someone to make sure there aren't any parties at my house. He'll be sitting here by himself if he comes, I did make that clear, because S13 is gone to camp and S15 will be in and out, mostly out.
I was going to offer that it was fine if he couldn't, I'd find someone who can, but I held off on that. I really think he can just help out sometimes. We'll see if he's available before I offer other options.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I hear you. If SE#2 goes forward, H is going to have to step up on staying with D14 alternate weekends or having her at his tiny place. That will be an interesting conversation
Yeah, hear that. My H has two kids, two dogs, and one rented room in someone's house. No one can stay with him. Not sure how a dad does that, but there it is. Even though I'm not in favor of "nesting" because my lawyer said it's a really bad idea, sharing my house seems to be the only way H can help with the kids at all.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
My IC thinks H should pay money to compensate for what he's not doing, like, a hotel room for me to go stay in while he's at my house with my kids. It's a nice daydream.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
wow! I have the same daydream! I said to h he could stay at house with kids and I will stay at his nice little apt.I'll take some books. no response. d15 will go stay with him( its all big fun to her!) boys don't stay there. not interested.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
