BD One Year Later

[hopefulinga]

Thanks subguy and ruby. I've never been good at boundary setting with H. When I do try, I get a child throwing a tantrum.

Now that H knows I'm not exactly happy with him, he is being a little bit nicer again. This is worse than a roller coaster sometimes.

I went house hunting today....with H's friend, who is quickly becoming better friends with me than H. He knows that I am unhappy and is encouraging me to GAL and get on with my life, which, deep down, I know. I admitted to him that I know that I am being stubborn and it is probably best for me to move at this point. H needs to find himself.

As I said above, I know what I cannot deal with anymore. Our M wasn't always this way. But over time, H's drinking and narsacistic ways have gotten worse. I also know that I cannot change H and he refuses to go to MC or IC. So short of amnesia, I don't see much changing in the near future. And I'm not so sure over time. I do know that he chose to fall in love with me, and that reuniting in the future could always happen.

I do know that H is not totally done with me. Our physical connection remains strong. While I know that H has consulted a lawyer, he still has not called our accountant or the mediator.

So, I'm waiting to hear back from the lender people I'm working with. I know that I am not quite at the point to afford a few of the homes I looked at today.