One thing I wanted to mention, for whoever, and for my journal:
The more I get out into the world and try out this "old+new me" thing I created, the more I am convinced/comforted that this MLC thing really wasn't all about me, that it is the mlc'er. Yes, I contributed a lot to the M issues, but have remedied them.
...
I have regained "myself", built a better self, done the work, the hard work, that this mlc journey provides such an opportunity for...it was a good thing in the end, if a painful thing.
I like your term "old+new me" -- I agree with this idea that the shock of the MLC causes us to change too. I am also happy with some of the changes that have become part of my personality, outlook, and way of life now. One thing that has changed is I've become more independent of my W. After such a long marriage I think my identity became associated with the marriage as if I didn't exist separately from the marriage. I think this happens to a lot of couples.
