Guess I belong here now...

[sweetbabyred]

Okay, I'm ready for some 2x4's. I think I need to get knocked upside the head to knock some sense into me.

Linda, I saw your message last night right after I'd done a lot of stupid stuff. Hopefully nothing I can't eventually recover from.

I know that if we ever get back together it's going to take a long time. I know that. Especially because he actually went through with the D.

But I guess I'd just read several sitches on here recently about h's coming back and saying they wanted to work on things, seemingly out of nowhere.

So, xh had been out of town and had mentioned that he might need/want me to pick him up after he dropped off his rental car. Yesterday morning, he texted to see if I could get him.

I was at work, but we made plans for him to drop it off at 8 and he'd take me to dinner at the bar/grill we used to go to all the time by our old house/my apt.

We were texting casually about some stuff on and off throughout the day. Around 6pm, I get a call, telling me that he's got a ride, so I don't need to get him.

He says that he wished I were getting him instead, but he still wanted to go to the grill together sometime. I couldn't help it and kind of laughed.

He asked why I was laughing and I said it was funny that I was being ditched again. He says that he thought he was saving me from an errand. He said it wasn't a gf who was picking him up, but admitted that she did want to be.

I told him that we'd made plans for me to get him and I'd planned my day around it, so it wasn't an inconvenience. So he asked what I wanted him to do, if I wanted him to call and tell her not to go, even though she was supposedly on her way already.

I just said, "we made plans, so you know what I want" but knew he would never do it. (In the past he's ditched me before, not thinking we had "real" plans when something else came up, so I'm somewhat used to this).

And I thought it was extremely passive aggressive to tell me he'd rather me do it, but somehow this other woman talked herself into it. How hard is it to say thanks, but I've already got someone picking me up?

He said, hang on, let me call her and several minutes later he called back to figure out when we were meeting, as it was earlier than it was supposed to be.

I picked him up, we went to the bar, had a good conversation, nothing relationshipy,he received quite a few texts, but didn't answer any of them. He did say that he went out with a girl Sunday night when he got to Houston, so that explained why he said he was tired at his training on Mon.

Then I took him home, we talked for a bit and I drove home. I guess the two beers got to me more than I thought because I started texting him, saying that it was difficult to spend time with him because he was acting like the guy I fell in love with and that I get jealous knowing about all the other women he's hanging out with, even though I know I have no reason to be since we're not married.

He did say he's not sure why he's doing that, because that's not like him. That he'll be jealous when he sees me start dating someone.

I feel so stupid, because I shouldn't have brought any of that up. I did text him when I left work today, apologizing for texting him last night, thanking him for being respectful and not texting the other girls when I was with him, and saying that I clearly have a low alcohol tolerance, and hope that I can figure out how to be friends without being jealous.

Ok, this is way too long, so I'll respond to your comments in the next post.