I would appreciate feedback about H's comments from yesterday.
Perhaps a bit of mind-reading, but it appears he sees you GAL'ing and slipping away and so is trying to keep you on the hook as plan B. It seems pretty clear he's not happy with plan A so plan B is probably becoming more important to him. BUT... it still sounds like he's nowhere close to committing to reconciling or to doing the hard work HE needs to do. I would suggest you stick with what you're doing and keep working on your independence and PMA. It sounds like you're doing great
GTO, happy belated Birthday. I agree with AnotherStander, keep doing what you are doing. Keep your spirit high, enjoy the compliments and attention from D’s dad.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Happy Bday GTO, also agree with the others, you have to take care of yourself first.
But since you asked, he might finally be realizing the grass isn't so green after all. The first cracks in his armor are shining thru. Eventually, most of them attempt to come back in one way or another. Who knows, and who cares right now.
The choice is yours, proceed/fantasize?, give limboland another month? Only you know the answer to that question, you don't have to even make that decision right now anyways.
Turtlegirl, one more vote here-- to keep on your path. Your H is sensing loss and now he's confused he is stringing you along. You will know when he wants to return and commit to the M.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
sandy1212, thanks for posting on my thread-first time! I agree that disconnecting/detaching is the path that MUST be taken in order to save oneself. I really don't care what he does with OW anymore....as long as it doesn't affect me or have anything to do with my kids. So, yeah, I've come a long way with detachment.
AS. Flyonthewall, BF, newman and ruby-- I agree H is having a lot of thoughts about all the alone time he has & that things aren't greener like he thought they would be.
Tori- thanks for your continued support. You are amazing and have a special path to help others..isn't it great that our paths lead to a better us ultimately??? Tennis was awesome today--you rock!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
sandy1212, thanks for posting on my thread-first time! I agree that disconnecting/detaching is the path that MUST be taken in order to save oneself. I really don't care what he does with OW anymore....as long as it doesn't affect me or have anything to do with my kids. So, yeah, I've come a long way with detachment.
AS. Flyonthewall, BF, newman and ruby-- I agree H is having a lot of thoughts about all the alone time he has & that things aren't greener like he thought they would be.
Tori- thanks for your continued support. You are amazing and have a special path to help others..isn't it great that our paths lead to a better us ultimately??? Tennis was awesome today--you rock!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Had a real roller coaster day today. Last night went to bed sad - crying, a lot of self-pity. Woke up the same way.
Went to S11's gymnastics where H & I have been sitting side-by-side all week talking. Today he commented how quiet I was. I said yes, I was. He sensed I wasn't in a good place.
Before we left it was brought to our attention that S11 might be put on a team this fall. I said that his current gymnastics place (not this summer gymnastics camp) was more convenient and that we are all about that.
H disagreed and said no, we are'nt...blah, blah, blah...his tone shut me down and I told him as much. I said that I needed to leave in the middle of him "talking" to me (prob not dbing on my part, but..) and he followed me to my car.
I turned and told him that it wasn't what he was saying that I didn't want to hear, it was the way he was talking to me that I couldn't hear him.
He apologized and I conceded that I wasn't in a great place today.
After leaving he texted me to apologize again and ask me about why I was down. I thanked him for his concern, but didn't go into any details about my mood.
Later today I called H (I almost never do unless it's about the boys) b/c I had just talked to his sister--she came home from the hospital today after an infection from her double mast. and she was really down...so it upset me & I thought he would understand me. He did & we talked for a little bit- I felt better after conversation.
Baby steps to us communicating in a positive way.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
...cute D'ed guy & I texted back and forth quite a bit. I had baked cookies and picked tomatoes from my garden for him (inside joke from earlier texting this summer)...
So, I went over to his house to drop them off ( a 15 minute visit) & it was amazing all we covered in that amount of time!
He asked me more questions than ever...seems he is more interested that I thought.
And, he loved my cookies! I'm always looking forward to our next interactions, but don't like that I'm usually the one initiating the texting... (he says he hates texting)
Here's the deal--I think I would so love to snuggle with him (as he texted me when I went over to his place late night before vaca) and I might even be open to a kiss! We'll see where this path takes me (and yes, I will proceed with caution)!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
