The Show Must Go On

[BrightFuture]

Mizjjd, Portia, RL and busting, thank you for your opinions and kind words.

It is good to know that my H is not the only one who fluctuates between being polite and business like.

He cannot blame me for his unhappiness any longer. I’m not there with him, I don’t ask him for anything, I don’t resist D, I don’t blame him, I left him alone to do whatever he wants.

Portia, I’m a science major too, but I never thought about my sitch as a science experiment. You got me thinking, hehe. You are right, I probably need to stay nice and polite in all communication with him. I was never rude or angry, but sometimes I’m short and dry. I don’t feel like going extra mile sometimes, when I’m not in the mood.

Linda, I know that it will be very difficult for H to find someone who would even remotely resemble what he had with me. But I don’t know if I’m standing anymore. After 1 year he has shown no interest in me and it doesn’t look like he is missing me. The other day I was so angry at myself for still thinking about him and having hopes. He is looking for another partner and even if he doesn’t find one and realizes that what he had was the best, he will not back off from his decision easily. He is very stubborn. Also, I don’t want just to be plan B, I want more than that. I deserve better.

I don’t know if he wakes up from this. I’m starting to doubt that he is in MLC at all. I’ve been reading and re-reading everything about MLC – about the stages, signs, depression, etc. He doesn’t fit into the majority of it. He is not angry with me, he is not trying to trigger me, he is not spending money. He is actually pretty accommodating and nice towards me. If you remember from my story, he moved out of the condo so I could stay there when I came to spend a few days in our vacation place. He signed off the house to me. So, it might be that he just was not happy with me, and that is it.

I guess I have to start a new thread soon, this one filled up already.